These past few days I have come to a huge realization. I am beginning to lose one of the only people in my life who hasn't completely bailed on me due to my emetophobia. (For those reading who know the important people in my life, I am not referring to Ian, he is still by my side fully supporting and loving me). I have talked about this person before and it is becoming clear that their patience and support is wearing thin, which is understandable given the situation. I am always making excuses to cancel our plans, whether it be an appointment, Ian having the car, or some other wild excuse.
This realization has be scared beyond my wits. It seems as though this fear, has given me a boost in the right direction in my recovery. For the last week and a half, I am proud to announce that I have not consumed any Gravol, I have only used my Pepto a handful of times (due to eating spicy foods), and I even made a trip out of the house -- in fact, this trip was to the hospital for a test I had been putting off due to my phobia. This might not seem like much to most, but for me, its a huge step forward. My anxiety levels have been at a minimum, most days, I experience none at all.
I have no idea whether this progress is because there doesn't seem to be much of a stomach flu going around anymore, or if the extreme fear of losing this person just gave me the push I needed.
Either way, I want to thank this person for putting up with me through this, for taking it all in stride. For making plans with me, even though they knew I would be likely to cancel. It means a lot that someone would stand there and take so much disappointment and still continue to take my word. So many times I truly felt that I would be completely able to keep true to our plans, and at the last minute, anxiety took me over and I canceled. Well, we have plans for tomorrow, and come hell or high water, I will not be canceling. I have had a lot of progress over the last week and a half, I want to continue with it and hopefully be somewhat functional in the near future.
Either way, it is quite possible that the simple thought of this person no longer being in my life, has scared me to the point of recovery. I hope they realize how amazing that is, and that it proves what their friendship means to me.
-Drea
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Blocked...
Hey guys! I just want to make a brief post apologizing for not posting anything in the past 3 days. I have had a slight case of writers block. However, I am working on a post for later tonight or tomorrow, so I encourage you to check back for that!!
I have been toying around with a few ideas and have been struggling to pick one. However, I feel as though my next post will be one of the best as I have taken the time to think it through and spend adequate time writing it!
Posting coming soon.
-Drea
I have been toying around with a few ideas and have been struggling to pick one. However, I feel as though my next post will be one of the best as I have taken the time to think it through and spend adequate time writing it!
Posting coming soon.
-Drea
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentines Day
Well here we are, on the much anticipated Valentines Day. I have woken up to a hundred status updates wishing the world a happy Valentines day, with a few non-valentine loving statuses mixed it. This blog update will is likely to going to only further prove my "obsession of going against the grain." That is not the case, it is, again, just me not buying into the hype that is created for me to buy in to.
I used to hate Valentines day as a kid, because it was a popularity contest among school aged children. I found it to be appalling that each year the teacher had to make it clear that each and every student was to receive a Valentine. Obviously this was because, the less popular kids -- like myself -- would end the day with only a small handful of the cute little cards. I was one of those unpopular kids who didn't want to get an abundance of cards. Even at that age, I knew it was a stupid holiday.
As an adult, when I was single, I looking at February 14th the same as any other day. I didn't celebrate a form on anti-vday like some tend to do, and I didn't spend the evening drinking wine with my other single friends, feeling sorry for myself. No, it was just a regular day. Now, I am engaged to the most amazing man! He treats me like a queen and makes me happier then I have ever been. And yet still, Valentines day means nothing to me. We don't exchange gifts, he doesn't get me flowers or chocolate or jewelry. And I love that! He has gotten me flowers, chocolate and even gorgeous jewelry on other occasions, which make it even more special. When he comes home and gives me a kiss and flowers just because he feels like it, makes me SO happy.
What is so special about getting gifts and cards on February 14th. It isn't. Every second person is getting the same thing. There is nothing special about it because its what we're "meant" to do. Because we live with room mates, we take advantage of February 14th by hoping our room mates have made plans so we can enjoy some quiet time alone.
I really do feel bad for all those men out there at the flower stores, and jewelry stores running around looking for the perfect thing that says "I love you". Here is a tip, you want to say I love you in a special way? While you're watching a movie together, pull her in close, kiss her and look her in the eyes and explain to her how your life would crumble without her in it, that you have never loved anyone as much as you love her. You don't need flowers, chocolate and gifts to show that you love someone. In fact, personally, I look at that as being the most insensitive possible way to express your love.
I will keep this entry short, as my point as been made pretty clear. This Valentines day, try not to buy into commercialism. Trying showing your love without gifts. A romantic walk, a snuggly evening in bed with your favorite movie.
I used to hate Valentines day as a kid, because it was a popularity contest among school aged children. I found it to be appalling that each year the teacher had to make it clear that each and every student was to receive a Valentine. Obviously this was because, the less popular kids -- like myself -- would end the day with only a small handful of the cute little cards. I was one of those unpopular kids who didn't want to get an abundance of cards. Even at that age, I knew it was a stupid holiday.
As an adult, when I was single, I looking at February 14th the same as any other day. I didn't celebrate a form on anti-vday like some tend to do, and I didn't spend the evening drinking wine with my other single friends, feeling sorry for myself. No, it was just a regular day. Now, I am engaged to the most amazing man! He treats me like a queen and makes me happier then I have ever been. And yet still, Valentines day means nothing to me. We don't exchange gifts, he doesn't get me flowers or chocolate or jewelry. And I love that! He has gotten me flowers, chocolate and even gorgeous jewelry on other occasions, which make it even more special. When he comes home and gives me a kiss and flowers just because he feels like it, makes me SO happy.
What is so special about getting gifts and cards on February 14th. It isn't. Every second person is getting the same thing. There is nothing special about it because its what we're "meant" to do. Because we live with room mates, we take advantage of February 14th by hoping our room mates have made plans so we can enjoy some quiet time alone.
I really do feel bad for all those men out there at the flower stores, and jewelry stores running around looking for the perfect thing that says "I love you". Here is a tip, you want to say I love you in a special way? While you're watching a movie together, pull her in close, kiss her and look her in the eyes and explain to her how your life would crumble without her in it, that you have never loved anyone as much as you love her. You don't need flowers, chocolate and gifts to show that you love someone. In fact, personally, I look at that as being the most insensitive possible way to express your love.
Valentines day is a holiday that was created by western society. The holiday originated from the ancient Roman fesitval of Luercalia, a fertility celebration that used to be observed annually on February 15th. But, the rise of Christianity in Europe saw many pagan holidays being renamed for and dedicated to the early Christian martyrs. Luercalia was no exception. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius turned Lupercalia into a Christian feast day and set its observance a day earlier, on February 14th. This day was to be a feast day in honor of Saint Valentine, a Roman martyr who lived in the 3rd century. Is it this St. Valentine whom the modern Valentines Day honors. Yet, western society had to completely commercialize another day in history.
I must also say that I cannot blame this on men! Shocking I know! I am sure that if it were up to most men, they wouldn't be spending hundreds on gifts either. It is us, as women, who expect something on Valentines day, and if it isn't received, we throw a shit fit. I never understood why women felt they were entitled to anything on Valentines day. As a woman, with a wonderful fiance, I feel this way. Many feel that people who feel this way about Valentines day are just bitter because they are single. Not true, just as many happy couples feel the same.
As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate each and every one of you!
Cheers,
-Drea
Monday, February 13, 2012
It still amazes me.
Last night was the first time that I can say there was a "shit show" on my Facebook wall. During the Grammy's I made -- what I thought was an innocent -- status update. Upon review, I feel as though I should have used different words, either way, it was definitely not taken well among my Facebook "friends." I stated that I did not understand why Adele was such a big deal. I made it clear that she was a beautiful singer, and had an amazing strong voice. But, I also made it clear that I did not feel she was any better than any other singer. Now, one thing -- a mistake on my part -- that I failed to mention from the get-go was that there was a specific event that triggered this rage filled status update. Jennifer Hudson (another beautiful singer) did a very heartfelt performance as a tribute to the late Whitney Houston. It was beautiful, and brought a tear to my eye. What made me angry was that Adele received a bigger ovation, and more appreciation for her performance. The people in the crowd -- celebrities and otherwise -- clapped and whistled for much longer after Adele's performance. Which shocked me as Adele sang the same song that we've been hearing 5 times a day on our radios. It was nothing special. Was it good? Yes. Was it better than any other performance? No. Did it deserve a better response than the Whitney Houston tribute? Hell no.
As per the title of this post, it still amazes me just how many people have their heads so far up their asses that they can no longer process the smallest pieces of information. My status update started flooding with comments of people in complete shock that I felt that way. 127 comments later and almost every person who chose to comment, chose to put words in my mouth and give their own meanings to my words. There were but a handful of people who actually used their brains and took my words for what they were. I was not bashing Adele's talent. There is no question in my mind that she has a disgusting amount of talent. I just feel that she is overrated -- which is my opinion, which I am completely entitled to. In fact, I find it to be hilarious (and pathetic) that people who are over 21 years of age, can still act like they are in high school. The moment their beliefs are questioned, they become a 15 year old and make the entire thing into a joke. Purposely making fun of someone because of their opinion, is the most immature thing I have ever witnessed. Every person has their own opinion. In this case, I chose to voice my opinion on Facebook -- where apparently, opinions have no place to be -- however, my opinion did not please the general public and therefore I got a lot of slack for it. For the most part, it was a friendly debate, no harm done. However, there are always certain people who are completely unable to be mature in most situations. It isn't easy putting myself out there each and every day, for the world to see. But it is something I want to to, and I truly feel that I should get some form of respect. If you dislike it, don't read it. But you could at least have the decency to keep it to yourself rather than discussing with your friends how "hilarious" it is. This goes for blogs, Facebook, Twitter...everything. (Those I am referring to, will know who they are)
I am beyond tired of the prejudice you see around music. Most of these "friends" claimed that I was "purposely going against the crowd" claiming that I "felt the need to always go against the majority." Are you kidding me? If anything, everyone needs to look at themselves and realize that they need too start not going with the majority. Yes, I tend to be a controversial person, but the only reason my words are looked at as being controversial is because it completely shocks everyone's system. I do not purposely go against the majority, there are often times that I am sitting there with the rest of the world in adoration of an artist. The difference is, I do the research required to use my own brain to choose who to praise. For example, Justin Bieber was highly praised, and is still famous on a massive scale. However, he also got a lot of hate, people claiming that he was "talent-less" and was "made" to be what he is. Now, it was the "cool" thing to do to hate on Bieber, even I fell into the "hate Bieber" hype for a period of time. Then, I remembered watching the kidrauhl videos on You Tube, long before he was all over our TV's, iPod's and Radio's. And I realized that Justin Bieber has an extraordinary amount of talent. Yes he was most definitely molded to look a certain way, which is something I don't agree with, however, there is no denying his talent. Therefore, all of the claims that he has no talent, are completely fabricated and utterly invalid.
Another worthy example -- which I've chosen for a reason I will explain later -- is Lil Wayne. Many feel as though I praise Lil Wayne simply because I am a huge fan. How big of a fan? I have his name tattooed on my arm, so yeah, I'd say I am a pretty hardcore fan. However, I did not become such a huge fan until after I listened to some of his other music. The music industry hot shots decide what will sell, and sell big. They determine what songs will be released. These decisions typically only show one side of an artist. In the example of Lil Wayne, most judge him only on his songs such as "Lollipop." Auto-tuned and has zero meaning in the lyrics. I can understand why people would determine he is talent-less after hearing this song, or many others like it. However, these people pass judgement far too quickly. If one were to take the time to listen to his other music, you would find that he has an entire album that he plays the guitar instruments himself, he is not auto tuned, and he actually sings. Not to mention, a lot of the songs have a lot of deep meaning and good messages. Believe it or not, but the song Paradice and Runnin actually got me through a lot of hard times. It takes a lot for a song to have so much meaning and such a good message that it can get me through tough patches of my life.
The problem is simple. The majority of people refuse to take a chance that they might like something, that isn't "cool" to like. I urge you all to 1. Keep in mind that I in no way said that everyone was like this, I simply said the majority. 2. If you feel you aren't in that majority, prove it, because chances are high, that you are.
Now, back to Adele. Adele can sing, she has soul and a beautiful, strong voice. However, I still truly feel that it was sickening to see her get a larger, better, response than Jennifer Hudson's Whitney Houston tribute. Adele is a good singer, she isn't the best thing to happen to music. Simple as that. End of story.
-Drea
As per the title of this post, it still amazes me just how many people have their heads so far up their asses that they can no longer process the smallest pieces of information. My status update started flooding with comments of people in complete shock that I felt that way. 127 comments later and almost every person who chose to comment, chose to put words in my mouth and give their own meanings to my words. There were but a handful of people who actually used their brains and took my words for what they were. I was not bashing Adele's talent. There is no question in my mind that she has a disgusting amount of talent. I just feel that she is overrated -- which is my opinion, which I am completely entitled to. In fact, I find it to be hilarious (and pathetic) that people who are over 21 years of age, can still act like they are in high school. The moment their beliefs are questioned, they become a 15 year old and make the entire thing into a joke. Purposely making fun of someone because of their opinion, is the most immature thing I have ever witnessed. Every person has their own opinion. In this case, I chose to voice my opinion on Facebook -- where apparently, opinions have no place to be -- however, my opinion did not please the general public and therefore I got a lot of slack for it. For the most part, it was a friendly debate, no harm done. However, there are always certain people who are completely unable to be mature in most situations. It isn't easy putting myself out there each and every day, for the world to see. But it is something I want to to, and I truly feel that I should get some form of respect. If you dislike it, don't read it. But you could at least have the decency to keep it to yourself rather than discussing with your friends how "hilarious" it is. This goes for blogs, Facebook, Twitter...everything. (Those I am referring to, will know who they are)
I am beyond tired of the prejudice you see around music. Most of these "friends" claimed that I was "purposely going against the crowd" claiming that I "felt the need to always go against the majority." Are you kidding me? If anything, everyone needs to look at themselves and realize that they need too start not going with the majority. Yes, I tend to be a controversial person, but the only reason my words are looked at as being controversial is because it completely shocks everyone's system. I do not purposely go against the majority, there are often times that I am sitting there with the rest of the world in adoration of an artist. The difference is, I do the research required to use my own brain to choose who to praise. For example, Justin Bieber was highly praised, and is still famous on a massive scale. However, he also got a lot of hate, people claiming that he was "talent-less" and was "made" to be what he is. Now, it was the "cool" thing to do to hate on Bieber, even I fell into the "hate Bieber" hype for a period of time. Then, I remembered watching the kidrauhl videos on You Tube, long before he was all over our TV's, iPod's and Radio's. And I realized that Justin Bieber has an extraordinary amount of talent. Yes he was most definitely molded to look a certain way, which is something I don't agree with, however, there is no denying his talent. Therefore, all of the claims that he has no talent, are completely fabricated and utterly invalid.
Another worthy example -- which I've chosen for a reason I will explain later -- is Lil Wayne. Many feel as though I praise Lil Wayne simply because I am a huge fan. How big of a fan? I have his name tattooed on my arm, so yeah, I'd say I am a pretty hardcore fan. However, I did not become such a huge fan until after I listened to some of his other music. The music industry hot shots decide what will sell, and sell big. They determine what songs will be released. These decisions typically only show one side of an artist. In the example of Lil Wayne, most judge him only on his songs such as "Lollipop." Auto-tuned and has zero meaning in the lyrics. I can understand why people would determine he is talent-less after hearing this song, or many others like it. However, these people pass judgement far too quickly. If one were to take the time to listen to his other music, you would find that he has an entire album that he plays the guitar instruments himself, he is not auto tuned, and he actually sings. Not to mention, a lot of the songs have a lot of deep meaning and good messages. Believe it or not, but the song Paradice and Runnin actually got me through a lot of hard times. It takes a lot for a song to have so much meaning and such a good message that it can get me through tough patches of my life.
The problem is simple. The majority of people refuse to take a chance that they might like something, that isn't "cool" to like. I urge you all to 1. Keep in mind that I in no way said that everyone was like this, I simply said the majority. 2. If you feel you aren't in that majority, prove it, because chances are high, that you are.
Now, back to Adele. Adele can sing, she has soul and a beautiful, strong voice. However, I still truly feel that it was sickening to see her get a larger, better, response than Jennifer Hudson's Whitney Houston tribute. Adele is a good singer, she isn't the best thing to happen to music. Simple as that. End of story.
-Drea
Seeing is believing
I realize this blog is somewhat new, but I already have to thank certain people. I have always had a strong passion for writing. I have started and abandoned so many blogs that I likely couldn't count them all. I usually abandoned them because I was too scared and nervous to publicly post them on Facebook. For some reason, I figured people would just have negative things to say and make me feel worthless (as that has happened in the past when I posted a blog on Facebook.) It's sad that there are people like that out there, but I have realized that I don't care. Sure, there are plenty of my "friends" who think it is just hilarious that "Drea has a blog", but again, I don't care.
I have had enormous support from so many people. For one, Ashley. She reads every post, gives me constructive criticism, and pushes me to get it out there. Secondly, there are people like Sarah (you know who you are lol) who took the time to to post my blog on THEIR wall and write about how much they loved my writing and how amazing it was. Then I got comments from their friends about it too, all positive. I have always had a dream to have a successful blog, where thousands of people would see it every day. These people, who gave me their kind words, made me believe in my self a whole lot more. In turn, this gave me the courage to put myself out there and advertise my blog to millions.
Today alone, my blog has hit over 1500 views...yesterday, there were 7!! So I have to give thanks where thanks is due.
There are LOTS of others who have been reading and quietly supporting me, and for that I also thank you! It means so much to me! I love you all!
Check back later tonight or tomorrow for another post -- trust me, this one will stir up some controversy, but hey, that's what I'm good what :P
Cheers,
-Drea
I have had enormous support from so many people. For one, Ashley. She reads every post, gives me constructive criticism, and pushes me to get it out there. Secondly, there are people like Sarah (you know who you are lol) who took the time to to post my blog on THEIR wall and write about how much they loved my writing and how amazing it was. Then I got comments from their friends about it too, all positive. I have always had a dream to have a successful blog, where thousands of people would see it every day. These people, who gave me their kind words, made me believe in my self a whole lot more. In turn, this gave me the courage to put myself out there and advertise my blog to millions.
Today alone, my blog has hit over 1500 views...yesterday, there were 7!! So I have to give thanks where thanks is due.
There are LOTS of others who have been reading and quietly supporting me, and for that I also thank you! It means so much to me! I love you all!
Check back later tonight or tomorrow for another post -- trust me, this one will stir up some controversy, but hey, that's what I'm good what :P
Cheers,
-Drea
Sunday, February 12, 2012
What is a Best Friend?
I have had the same best friend for over 13 years (see photo, that does me no justice - circa 2008). We met in the 6th grade and spent the majority of our teen years together, hanging out and having fun. I have more memories with her then with any other person (even my fiance). But what makes her my best friend? I have had a lot of "best friends" come and go throughout my life, and now I realize that I've only ever really had one best friend.
Growing up together, our parents had a rough time. Her parents despised me and my parents hated her. They were under the impression that we were a "bad influence" on each other. Yes, I will admit it, we got into our fair share of mischief. Mind you, this mischief was pretty innocent, we never drank alcohol or got involved with drugs. We did tend to be obnoxious when together, thus making our parents assume it was the other girl. To this day I find it nonsensical that our parents were never grateful that we weren't calling them to pick our drunk selves up at a party, nor did we ever get taken home by the police. This was a common trend among other teenagers, but we chose to do our own thing...stray away from the crowd. Often times I think that my parents would have preferred that I had done those things rather than spending all of our time together.
However, undeterred by the feelings put forth by our parents, we continued our friendship. All of the major memories of my teenage years have her and I enjoying it together. I can still clearly remember the first day I got my license. My mother worked that night and agreed to let me use her car for the duration of her shift. I was ecstatic! Naturally, she was with me that evening. We just drove and drove, finally feeling completely free. My mother was very generous with her car, she let me use it almost every time I requested it. Sadly, to say I was a disrespectful teenager would be an understatement. Both Ashley and I felt that we deserved to use my mothers car day in and day out, regardless of whether she herself needed it. Now, as a 24 year old adult, I realize just how disrespectful I was. Unaffectedly, my mother blamed this disrespect on Ashley. In reality, I was disrespectful because I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and for some reason -- which I will never know -- I felt I deserved that right.
There is not a whole lot that Ashley and I haven't gone through together. We have lived together (for a short time), worked together, and spent every possible minute with each other. We both grew up in a small city, of a general population of approximately 14,000. We were known around town, although never by name. We had our regular spots that we would visit, such as Bakin Donuts or Tim Hortons. If I were to go somewhere alone -- which was rare -- I would be questioned at least once..."where is your side kick?" It got to the point that some of the more immature people in town began spreading rumors that we were lesbians (which I still find to be completely hilarious), but at the time, I found it bothersome. I began wondering if it was weird that we spent so much time together. I started thinking about the situation and realized that I was lucky! I had something that most people never get to have. A true best friend.
We have had a few noteworthy fights in our time as friends. One of which prevented us from talking for a little over a year! As I am sure you can imagine, this was really hard to deal with. Making new friends just wasn't good enough, I could never -- no matter how hard I tried -- find a friend that shared the same interests and sense of humor as Ashley did. Everywhere I went, I had memories of us. Eventually, we would begin talking again, often it seemed as though it was an act of fate. The last time we "made up" after a year long fight, we started talking again on Neopets!! We used to both be obsessed with Neopets and one day I decided to log into my old account (which I hadn't touched in a year or two). While surfing around the site, I decided to send a message to Ashley's old account. I really and truly thought she would never see it, as she hadn't used the site for a couple of years as well. To my surprise, the next day I had a message from her. I turns out, we both had the idea to visit that website at the same general time. It was sort of creepy. So, we arranged to meet at the church (the same church we used to go to when we skipped school).
We were quickly able to go back to the way we once were, as if nothing had even happened. We have been through a lot together. I must admit, one of the most heart breaking days of my life was when she packed up and moved to Dallas, Texas. I was beyond sad, yet at the same time I was happy because she was finally following her dream! I figured that she would leave and our friendship would move along with her. I couldn't have been more wrong. We spoke almost every day and skyped a few times a week. Both of our significant others were not fond of us. My boyfriend at the time actually requested that I choose between him and her (as he disliked her completely), at one time she was given the same ultimatum. I chose her. I told him that boyfriends come and go, a friend like Ashley, comes around once in a lifetime (and not everyone has the chance to experience having one). Unfortunately, when she was given that choice, she chose her boyfriend. One would think I would resent her for that, but I don't. Not even a little bit. I completely understand why she did what she did, and that's all that matters. No one else needs to know (so don't ask). While she was gone, I started school and made it to university, which made me so happy and proud. 2 years ago, Ashley returned, I was beyond happy, yet I somehow knew that things would never be the same...and they weren't. I lived in a different city and was attending school. I had made a hoard of new friends (as I had no choice, I had no friends once she left).
At this time, I realized that we talked more when she was in Dallas. This was hurtful and hard to accept. But we had both grown up a lot since she left, we had gone through a lot of hardships and our lives just changed so drastically.
Now, I still live in a different city, I am engaged and extremely happy. She lives in the city where we grew up, she works a lot of hours, lives on her own, and has an awesome boyfriend. She is also very happy. I haven't seen her in months (partially due to my own personal reasons, which you can read about in some past posts), but we talk on MSN almost everyday and I plan to see her very soon.
The question still remains...what IS a best friend? A best friend is someone who you can share literally anything with and they won't look down on you, no matter how ridiculous it may be. It is someone who isn't afraid to tell you when you're wrong or where you can better yourself. It is someone who you can go years without seeing and pick up where you left off when you do see each other again. A best friend is someone who will always support you no matter how much it affects them. They are someone who has the guts to tell you that your boyfriend is a douche, without you hating them for it (I have to "lol" at that one!). They are the one person who will always encourage you to follow your dreams -- but continue to watch out for you in case there is "danger" involved in following those dreams. They will piss you off and make you laugh, they will always be there when you need them. A best friend would fly half way across the world to get you out of trouble (if the financial means were available). A best friend will never reveal your secrets and embarrassing photos (even when you fight and don't talk for years)
Ashley is all of these things and I hope I am all of those things too. Until the day I die, Ashley will be my one and only best friend. No one in this world knows more about me than her. She is one of the only people I can trust 100%.
So next time you are thinking about who your best friend is...consider this post. How many of you have a friend like that? Of course, plenty do, but I have come to discover that it is a lot more rare than one would think. Young people these days are much more focused on having a large group of friends, whereas I was happy with one really close friend. Nothing can replace a best friend. Regular friends come and go through your entire life, what is so special about that? I couldn't imagine having no one on this planet who knows everything there is to know about me. Think about this and don't take your closest friends for granted. A friend like this is hard to come by!
Thank you everyone for taking the time to read my blog. As someone who has a strong passion for writing, it means a lot to me that you take time out of your day to read these. It would mean a lot if you would check out Ashley's blog! She is an awesome writer (we have different styles of course), but there is a lot of good information in her blog. Just follow this link to support her blog! bashleyblog.blogspot.com
-Drea
Friday, February 10, 2012
Take this on for size.
Update! After receiving some comments requesting a form of proof for the studies I mentioned in this post, I have decided to make it readily available for everyone to view. This was mentioned in a previous post, I can't expect every person to read every post, so for your convienience you can view my report here, which was for a Social Psychology class in my 2nd year of my Psychology degree. I received a very good mark on this paper and I invite you to check each and every resource I have listen so YOU can clearly see the numbers, and the science that backs what I have said here! Again, thanks for reading! http://dreamars.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/the-truth-about-weight-based-dscrimination/
I do not want skinny people to eat more and get fat. Why would I want that? What should it solve? As an overweight individual I have experienced discrimination first hand, and no matter what "skinny people" say, they just do not experience the same discrimination. I was disgusted to find out that there are numerous employers who require an applicant to send them a face photo, as well as a body shot...just to get an interview. How can someone have that knowledge and still think that skinny people have it just as bad? How many skinny people have been denied a job due to their weight? The fact of the matter is that "normal" and underweight individuals obtain more jobs than those who are overweight or obese, despite qualifications.
This entire thing reminds me far too much of racism. This would be like a white person saying that they are equally effected by racism. Come on!! Get real.
No one is telling you to get fatter. That would be ridiculous as everyone knows that being overweight is unhealthy. And yes, I agree, that those (including myself) who are overweight, should do more to lose weight, for obvious health reasons. What we are telling you, is to get off your high horse and stop complaining that your life is so hard because of your perfect skinny figure. It is common knowledge that skinny individuals get better jobs, get promoted easier, and even tend to make more money. Do the research, check the statistics on numerous studies conducted that prove this.
The picture I posted makes me sick. It disturbs me greatly to know that someone actually took the time to make it. When people post photos of larger than average women and say that they are proud of their curves, they aren't saying that you shouldn't feel beautiful. Everyone should feel beautiful...the cold hard truth is that skinny people don't get called disgusting, ugly, dirty, and lazy nearly as much as "fat" people. Being overweight is not considered beautiful in the media and that makes us feel ugly. We decide that we are finally going to take a stand against the mean, derogatory comments that we receive on a daily basis, and you, who is considered beautiful by the general public, decide to complain about it.
And who is to blame for this? Most say that men are to blame for the new beautiful, others say its the media. I agree, men play a large role in why those who are overweight find it hard to love themselves and feel beautiful, but who is responsible for making men that way? The media! At one time, a size 14 was considered to be gorgeous. Now, you are hard pressed to find a size 12 at a regular store. Have you ever taken a look at just how small the small really is? It is frightening. Children can fit into these clothes...children can comfortably fit into clothes made for grown adults. Can you not see what is wrong with that? Girls go into a store to buy a new dress, they go for their usual size of a medium...try it on, only to find it is too small. This, in turn, makes them feel fat which depresses them, because "men don't like fat girls". Clothing stores are always making their sizes smaller and smaller, which leads girls to loose more and more weight to the point that they are bony. The media has made men believe that bony is sexy, and it can be. If you are bony, you are no less sexy than someone who is overweight, the problem is that being underweight is just as unhealthy as being overweight. You run the same risks for heart disease and congestive heart failure.
Men are to blame, but it isn't their fault. They have been brainwashed into what they should find sexy. Each and every man is different, and some choose to not bother with size and consider women of all sizes sexy, which is the way it should be. But there are even more men who make it clear that the skinnier, the better.
Size should not determine how sexy someone is, and each and every woman should learn to love themselves whether they are fat, skinny, or somewhere in between. The media needs to start using models of a normal weight, rather than using extremely underweight individuals. I don't expect to see 400 pound models in the media, because that is just as dangerous as the promotion of being underweight. We need to start seeing women who are at the proper, healthy weight for their age and height. You would be shocked at how "fat" these normal weight women would appear. They aren't fat, they are healthy!
Now, please, if you are fat be proud...love yourself and love your curves. If you are super skinny...love yourself and love your bony figure. But stop complaining that skinny people have it just as bad, because you know what? You're wrong. You have it SO easy compared to overweight individuals, so if you do have it hard...imagine how hard someone bigger than you has it!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Freedom = Unemployment line
How many times have you written a status on Facebook and just before hitting the "update" button you make a last minute choice to backspace the entire thing and write something else? I know I do that all the time. Mainly, for one reason. Potential employers have begun to abuse Facebook and determine whether or not to hire you based on what is on your Facebook profile. This concept makes me so angry. Who I am with my friends has nothing to do with what kind of worker I would be. Maybe I want to share a photo I find hilarious, but I can't share it out of fear that some future employer may see it. At one time, we had the ability to make our profiles completely hidden from non-friends, and we do still have that option, however, with the recent changes if I post a picture, everyone who is friends with one of my friends, can see it (if my friend decides to like it, comment, or share it). I am almost positive that everyone is connected in some way. There are likely thousands of people who don't know me, but they know at least one of my friends. This makes it so thousands of people that you don't know, can see various things you've posted on YOUR Facebook page.
These employers will find what they can about you from Facebook and ultimately that will decide if you get hired or not. Just because I may find something funny that this employer finds offensive, does not mean I will be a bad worker. We should have the freedom to put whatever we want on our Facebook page without worrying about it possibly ruining our chances of a good job.
Facebook is not the only thing that has been squashed by employers. What about those people who choose to express themselves via tattoos and piercings? I think it is absolutely pathetic that when I have a job interview, I have to wear a long sleeve shirt to hide my tattoos. Once hired, I will expose my arms for what they really are, luckily, the law is on our side in saying an employer cannot fire you for such a thing. But they can sure as hell not hire you for having tattoos. Sure, they won't come out and say that (because that would be illegal, as it is discrimination), but they will just say that you "aren't right for the position." Despite you having extensive experience for that particular job.
I have my tongue pierced, and I have had it since I was 17 (I am now 24). If I had a dime for every employer who said they'd hire me if I agreed to remove it, I'd be rich! I won't lie, I've turned down job offers in the past because I refused to take it out. I refuse to be completely controlled by an employer. I really wish someone could explain to me how having a pierced tongue makes me a bad worker. I doubt there is a good/bad workers with tongue piercing ratio. The reason why employers discriminate about this is because society can't handle those who express themselves through these avenues. I guess I can only hope that someday it will change. I admit, it has changed significantly since I was a teenager, but there is still a lot of room for more improvement.
There are so many different things that make it extremely hard to find a decent job. Things that we can never prove actually prevented us from getting hired. Things such as gender, beauty, and weight. I ask that you take the time to read this post on my WordPress account. I chose to add it there as it is lengthy. It is a paper I wrote for my Social Psychology class last year. It is about weight based discrimination in the work force. The facts will utterly shock you, and that is something I can promise. You can find this post at: http://dreamars.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/the-truth-about-weight-based-dscrimination/
Yes, I know it is long, but trust me when I say it is worth reading. It thoroughly disgusts me when I walk into a store and look around at all of the employees and realize quickly that they are all breathtakingly beautiful. I wish someone could explain to me why pretty people make better workers than average looking people. What is difficult about this is that everyone knows this takes place in the workforce, yet we can never prove it. Therefore, we can never get the justice we deserve. We can never hold such employers accountable for their disgusting forms of discrimination.
Please read through it and comment on here with your thoughts about workplace discrimination. It is something that needs to be stopped, sadly I don't know how to stop it. Maybe one of you have an idea! Let's discuss :)
-Drea
These employers will find what they can about you from Facebook and ultimately that will decide if you get hired or not. Just because I may find something funny that this employer finds offensive, does not mean I will be a bad worker. We should have the freedom to put whatever we want on our Facebook page without worrying about it possibly ruining our chances of a good job.
Facebook is not the only thing that has been squashed by employers. What about those people who choose to express themselves via tattoos and piercings? I think it is absolutely pathetic that when I have a job interview, I have to wear a long sleeve shirt to hide my tattoos. Once hired, I will expose my arms for what they really are, luckily, the law is on our side in saying an employer cannot fire you for such a thing. But they can sure as hell not hire you for having tattoos. Sure, they won't come out and say that (because that would be illegal, as it is discrimination), but they will just say that you "aren't right for the position." Despite you having extensive experience for that particular job.
I have my tongue pierced, and I have had it since I was 17 (I am now 24). If I had a dime for every employer who said they'd hire me if I agreed to remove it, I'd be rich! I won't lie, I've turned down job offers in the past because I refused to take it out. I refuse to be completely controlled by an employer. I really wish someone could explain to me how having a pierced tongue makes me a bad worker. I doubt there is a good/bad workers with tongue piercing ratio. The reason why employers discriminate about this is because society can't handle those who express themselves through these avenues. I guess I can only hope that someday it will change. I admit, it has changed significantly since I was a teenager, but there is still a lot of room for more improvement.
There are so many different things that make it extremely hard to find a decent job. Things that we can never prove actually prevented us from getting hired. Things such as gender, beauty, and weight. I ask that you take the time to read this post on my WordPress account. I chose to add it there as it is lengthy. It is a paper I wrote for my Social Psychology class last year. It is about weight based discrimination in the work force. The facts will utterly shock you, and that is something I can promise. You can find this post at: http://dreamars.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/the-truth-about-weight-based-dscrimination/
Yes, I know it is long, but trust me when I say it is worth reading. It thoroughly disgusts me when I walk into a store and look around at all of the employees and realize quickly that they are all breathtakingly beautiful. I wish someone could explain to me why pretty people make better workers than average looking people. What is difficult about this is that everyone knows this takes place in the workforce, yet we can never prove it. Therefore, we can never get the justice we deserve. We can never hold such employers accountable for their disgusting forms of discrimination.
Please read through it and comment on here with your thoughts about workplace discrimination. It is something that needs to be stopped, sadly I don't know how to stop it. Maybe one of you have an idea! Let's discuss :)
-Drea
Let's Talk!
I really want to bring this to everyone's attention. Bell is having their Let's Talk campaign today and I am so happy to see it doing well. You can visit http://letstalk.bell.ca/ for more info and to keep track of the Tweets and Smiles people are sharing.
Bell Canada is donating 5 cents for every text message and long distance call made from a Bell phone to mental health programs. This is unbelievable. It is long overdue for a company to raise money and awareness about mental health. Mental health is just as crippling as other illnesses and disease. Millions of people struggled with it everyday. Not a lot of people look at mental health issues as a disease because you often cannot physically see the effects it has on people. Those struggling with depression are living everyday of their lives in agony, but more times than not, they put on their game face and get through their day without anyone knowing anything is wrong.
There are thousands of suicides around the world each day because of various mental health issues. I firmly believe that if we had more awareness and more help for these people that those suicide rates would fall. Each and every person and community should educate themselves on the mental health issues that affect so many people. Just because someone doesn't look sick, does not mean they aren't sick.
I know a lot of people that bitch and complain about their co-workers going on leave when "they didn't look sick, there's nothing wrong with them." You couldn't be more wrong. As someone who has battled depression, anxiety and (still battling) a crippling phobia, I know that the effects of mental illness can prove to be much worse than other more physical illnesses. If you have never struggled with mental health issues I can understand how it would be hard to comprehend the struggle we face each day. But imagine how it feels to not be able to get out of bed in the morning because you truly feel the world would be better off with you not in it.
Mental illness is not something that can be prevented. Sometimes, it is something that cannot even be cured. Yes, we have psychologists and doctors that can medicate us so we can function, and often times with the proper therapy, we can beat our depression and continue living our lives. However, there are just as many cases of people who simply cannot beat it. Most other illnesses can be cured through medication, surgery or other professional avenues. Can you imagine having something like depression, OCD, schizophrenia, or other mental illness and knowing that it won't ever go away. Instead of getting cured and moving on with your life the way you always did, you must learn to live life in a whole new way. You have to learn different coping skills just to get through each day. Can you imagine how hard it would be to have to completely re-learn how to live -- just to survive? I know first hand, it is a long hard road. But for those who are suffering, I can assure you that with the proper treatment, things will get better. Will they be exactly like they were before? Probably not. But if anything, you will come out of it a different yet stronger person.
So let's raise more awareness! Talk to your government and fight for more treatment options (especially for those who can't afford it). Canada has universal health care, which saves hundreds of thousands of lives each year. Yet, when someone (like myself) requires a psychologist or other mental health professional, we have to pay $150+ an hour. We need to convince our government to fund more mental health treatment options.
Let me know what your community is doing to raise awareness about mental health! If we band together, we can make a difference!
-Drea
Emetophobia - Coping Skills
I've already gotten a decent amount of response regarding my last post about Emetophobia. It actually pleases me to see that people are taking an interest in the subject, whether they suffer from it themselves or they just want to learn more about it. After seeing the response I got in a very short period of time, I decided to create another post, explaining some of the techniques I have perfected over the years that really help with anxiety and help you cope during rough situations. Sure, I am still basically a shut-in, but that doesn't mean I don't still experience plenty of anxiety related to my phobia. So, here we go, my coping skills, enjoy! And please, let me know if any of these work for you.
Firstly, as I stated in my previous post, I am extremely sanitary. I make my fiance sanitize his hands with the proper sanitizer before eating or touching his face. Reason being, even though I rarely go out, he does. He has school and he runs most of the errands, so not only do I need myself to be germ free, I need him to be as well. Honestly, being super clean is my number one coping skill. If I keep germs away from my body and my mouth it makes it damn near impossible to get anything that will make me sick. On the same note, I am really anal (excuse the expression) about expiry dates on food and my cooking practices are flawed. I overcook my chicken to the point it has the consistency of rubber. I refuse to order anything in a restaurant that has a good chance of being contaminated, therefore, I usually stick with anything deep fried (as it is usually pre-cooked). I thoroughly research my local restaurants. There are only a handful of places that I will trust. And if I ever hear of someone becoming ill at one of my "safe" restaurants, it immediately goes on my "nay nay" list. All of this may not appear to be a coping skill, but it very much is. By removing these threats, my anxiety level has less of a chance of rising up.
My second skill is breathing/relaxation/thinking. When I feel my anxiety levels rising to a bad level, I try my hardest to take deep breathes, in through my mouth, holding it for a few seconds, then releasing it very slowly. When I begin to feel nauseated due to my anxiety, this method really helps to relieve my stomach issues. I will also lay back and put on a recording of Family Guy or American Dad. That may seem weird, but it is my comfort zone. I have no clue why, but having Family Guy or American Dad playing puts me in a state of comfort. I don't care why it works, as long as it works. But I must say that finding a comfort zone is definitely important. During an anxiety episode this is what my comfort zone is like. Laying in bed, my fan on, window open (as fresh air and being cool help me as well, being too warm only makes it worse). I will put on Family Guy or American Dad and have Ian laying next to me playing Battlefield 3 on his TV. Seems so ridiculous and simple, but...it works and thats what matters. So I definitely encourage you to figure out what puts you in a state of pure comfort. If you aren't 110% comfortable, your anxiety will only get worse. Try reading your favorite book, or taking a bath. Often times I find a bath will calm me down and soothe any pain or nausea I may be feeling.
My third skill is (shockingly) eating. Every single day I find myself getting anxious with the fear that I am sick because my stomach hurts or feels "nauseous." When in reality, I am simply hungry. As an emetophobe, I often find myself unable to distinguish between hunger and nausea. To be completely honest, if someone asked me to describe the feeling of being nauseous, I couldn't do it. Not because of my phobia, but because I have associated so many different feelings with being sick, that I can no longer distinguish between them. Usually, my stomach gets a feeling of emptiness, and sometimes it cramps really bad. Naturally, I associate the cramping, with being sick. I have to wait for my stomach to physically grumble before I can trust myself eating. But, as of late I have been forcing myself to eat something when I feel my stomach getting that way. If I am really anxious, I will eat some toast. Something light....just in case. Yet, every time, once I get food into me, my stomach feels great. Although, I have to admit, that my stomach rarely feels "normal." I crave to feel "normal." In fact, emetophobics claim to feel nauseated on average 319 days out of the year, whereas non-phobics report an average of 3 times (another fun fact, non-phobics report vomiting an average of 2 times a year, where as phobics report an average of 1 time every 16 years -- please correct me if you find these numbers to be wrong, I am going on memory here). So yes, make sure you eat. You will likely find that a lot of your anxiety over feeling nauseous, is actually just hunger. However, if the anxiety is really bad, do what I do, eat a single piece of toast. That's all it takes to make your belly feel better, and IF you actually are sick (which I can almost promise you is not the case) a single piece of toast won't produce much of anything -- I realize that the simple thought that there is still that dreaded word "if" that you will be unlikely to eat, however, all you have to do is repeat to yourself over and over that you are not sick.
Now, this next skill I have to make a disclaimer about. I am not suggesting you do this because I am 100% unaware of any negative effects it may have (although I have an appointment with my Doctor soon to determine what effects it may be causing, at which point I will surely update this post). However, I have a pharmacy next to my bed. Allow me to name just a few things in my basket -- Pepto-Bismol, Gas-X, Tums, Gravol, Ginger Root, Advil, Tylenol, Zantac, and Immodium. And I can assure you that just touches the surface. If I find myself exposed to something that could potentially make me sick, I usually will take Gravol every 4 hours for a few days. It has gotten to the point that it doesn't even make me tired anymore. I go through a large bottle of Pepto-Bismol every 3 to 5 days. And Tums...well Tums I eat like candy most of the time. Now, in my defense, I have been diagnosed with a stomach ulcer that tends to be quite severe at times. The Pepto, Tums, Gas-X and Zantac help with the symptoms of my ulcer. Gravol does at times too (but I truly believe that is completely in my head). Again, I do not suggest you abuse Gravol. I have done some research on it and have yet to find anything terribly serious. However, I am seeing my Doctor about it and will then determine my plan of action. I also must inform you that this Gravol habit has calmed down a lot in recent months. At one time, I would literally always have Gravol in my system. I suppose I should explain why. Gravol works by "turning off" the signal in your brain that makes you vomit. Therefore, in my head, if I have Gravol in me, I can't vomit.
This next thing is likely the most ridiculous sounding of them all, but, for me it works. And again, after some research I've discovered this is actually a "symptom" of an emetophobe. I always have Halls or a mint nearby. I prefer Halls because the stronger the better. But the instant I feel anxious, I pop a Halls in my mouth and it calms me down. I have no idea why, maybe it is because it helps me take my mind off of my fear and allows me to focus on something else. I believe it acts in the same way that some people truly do better on exams while chewing gum. It subconsciously occupies your mind.
You can also try what I call the "tension technique." Lay down in bed, and completely flex every possible muscle in your body, making yourself stiff as a board. Hold it for a few seconds, and release, keep doing this over and over and it really brings down your anxiety levels. This is a technique a psychologist got me to try, and it is definitely effective.
Now for the cardinal sins of coping. I know that when I am anxious about getting sick I tend to start doing more research on Norovirus and other illnesses that cause vomiting. At the time I think that it will benefit me to re-assure myself that whatever I had been exposed to was not a way to catch the illness. That sentence may be hard to understand so I will explain with an example. If I went for coffee with someone (which is highly unlikely at this stage) and they informed me that their boyfriend had a stomach bug. I would instantly become anxious and more than likely become short of breath, experience nausea and heart palpitations. Once I get home I would be thinking of nothing except how I had been exposed to this "deathly" virus. So, I would then start doing more research, reading things I already know, to re-assure myself that I did not touch anything they touched and that the virus is not air-borne. However, in the end, this makes it 10 times worse. Yes I am getting the re-assurance my brain so desperately needs, but I am also keeping the topic fresh in my mind, thus making my anxiety worse. So when you find yourself in a situation where you feel like need to do more research and re-read everything you've read a million times...don't. It just makes the anxiety drag on.
One of the most important things, that I cannot stress enough, is that your usual Purell and other similar products do not kill viruses that cause vomiting. When purchasing your sanitizing products be sure to look for Benzethonium Chloride. You will find this specifically in Gold Bond Ultimate Hand Sanitizer and Wet Ones Sanitizing Wipes. The Gold Bond is by far my favorite as it comes in large bottles and purse size bottles. However, it can be hard to find. I have yet to find it where I live, but don't fret. I get mine at www.well.ca. They have good prices, quick shipping, and as a bonus, shipping is free in Canada so it is definitely worth checking out.
I apologize for such a lengthy entry, but I have so much to say and cannot seem to type fast enough to get it all out. I realize that I am still in recovery and cannot sit here and tell you how to fix your phobia, if I knew how, I would cure myself. My hope is that this will find at least one person who will benefit from it.
As you can likely tell, the best coping method, is to take steps to make it damn near impossible to get it to begin with. Practice safe cooking and good hygiene. I have one more important coping method, and this I cannot stress enough. Tell people what you are experiencing. Tell your mother, father, sister, brother, friend or spouse. Tell someone how it affects you. This can be extremely difficult, but you will be utterly shocked at the support system you likely have around you.
As usual, I encourage comments or e-mails from anyone experiencing this hellish fear. Talking with people going through the same thing can be incredibly helpful.
I will now leave you with one last suggestion. If you are like me and find that you have trouble sleeping at night, out of fear that you will wake up sick. Talk to your doctor about getting a medication to help you sleep. I take Zopiclone which puts you to sleep but also acts as an anti-anxiety medicine. It has been my saving grace for many nights.
-Drea
Firstly, as I stated in my previous post, I am extremely sanitary. I make my fiance sanitize his hands with the proper sanitizer before eating or touching his face. Reason being, even though I rarely go out, he does. He has school and he runs most of the errands, so not only do I need myself to be germ free, I need him to be as well. Honestly, being super clean is my number one coping skill. If I keep germs away from my body and my mouth it makes it damn near impossible to get anything that will make me sick. On the same note, I am really anal (excuse the expression) about expiry dates on food and my cooking practices are flawed. I overcook my chicken to the point it has the consistency of rubber. I refuse to order anything in a restaurant that has a good chance of being contaminated, therefore, I usually stick with anything deep fried (as it is usually pre-cooked). I thoroughly research my local restaurants. There are only a handful of places that I will trust. And if I ever hear of someone becoming ill at one of my "safe" restaurants, it immediately goes on my "nay nay" list. All of this may not appear to be a coping skill, but it very much is. By removing these threats, my anxiety level has less of a chance of rising up.
My second skill is breathing/relaxation/thinking. When I feel my anxiety levels rising to a bad level, I try my hardest to take deep breathes, in through my mouth, holding it for a few seconds, then releasing it very slowly. When I begin to feel nauseated due to my anxiety, this method really helps to relieve my stomach issues. I will also lay back and put on a recording of Family Guy or American Dad. That may seem weird, but it is my comfort zone. I have no clue why, but having Family Guy or American Dad playing puts me in a state of comfort. I don't care why it works, as long as it works. But I must say that finding a comfort zone is definitely important. During an anxiety episode this is what my comfort zone is like. Laying in bed, my fan on, window open (as fresh air and being cool help me as well, being too warm only makes it worse). I will put on Family Guy or American Dad and have Ian laying next to me playing Battlefield 3 on his TV. Seems so ridiculous and simple, but...it works and thats what matters. So I definitely encourage you to figure out what puts you in a state of pure comfort. If you aren't 110% comfortable, your anxiety will only get worse. Try reading your favorite book, or taking a bath. Often times I find a bath will calm me down and soothe any pain or nausea I may be feeling.
My third skill is (shockingly) eating. Every single day I find myself getting anxious with the fear that I am sick because my stomach hurts or feels "nauseous." When in reality, I am simply hungry. As an emetophobe, I often find myself unable to distinguish between hunger and nausea. To be completely honest, if someone asked me to describe the feeling of being nauseous, I couldn't do it. Not because of my phobia, but because I have associated so many different feelings with being sick, that I can no longer distinguish between them. Usually, my stomach gets a feeling of emptiness, and sometimes it cramps really bad. Naturally, I associate the cramping, with being sick. I have to wait for my stomach to physically grumble before I can trust myself eating. But, as of late I have been forcing myself to eat something when I feel my stomach getting that way. If I am really anxious, I will eat some toast. Something light....just in case. Yet, every time, once I get food into me, my stomach feels great. Although, I have to admit, that my stomach rarely feels "normal." I crave to feel "normal." In fact, emetophobics claim to feel nauseated on average 319 days out of the year, whereas non-phobics report an average of 3 times (another fun fact, non-phobics report vomiting an average of 2 times a year, where as phobics report an average of 1 time every 16 years -- please correct me if you find these numbers to be wrong, I am going on memory here). So yes, make sure you eat. You will likely find that a lot of your anxiety over feeling nauseous, is actually just hunger. However, if the anxiety is really bad, do what I do, eat a single piece of toast. That's all it takes to make your belly feel better, and IF you actually are sick (which I can almost promise you is not the case) a single piece of toast won't produce much of anything -- I realize that the simple thought that there is still that dreaded word "if" that you will be unlikely to eat, however, all you have to do is repeat to yourself over and over that you are not sick.
Now, this next skill I have to make a disclaimer about. I am not suggesting you do this because I am 100% unaware of any negative effects it may have (although I have an appointment with my Doctor soon to determine what effects it may be causing, at which point I will surely update this post). However, I have a pharmacy next to my bed. Allow me to name just a few things in my basket -- Pepto-Bismol, Gas-X, Tums, Gravol, Ginger Root, Advil, Tylenol, Zantac, and Immodium. And I can assure you that just touches the surface. If I find myself exposed to something that could potentially make me sick, I usually will take Gravol every 4 hours for a few days. It has gotten to the point that it doesn't even make me tired anymore. I go through a large bottle of Pepto-Bismol every 3 to 5 days. And Tums...well Tums I eat like candy most of the time. Now, in my defense, I have been diagnosed with a stomach ulcer that tends to be quite severe at times. The Pepto, Tums, Gas-X and Zantac help with the symptoms of my ulcer. Gravol does at times too (but I truly believe that is completely in my head). Again, I do not suggest you abuse Gravol. I have done some research on it and have yet to find anything terribly serious. However, I am seeing my Doctor about it and will then determine my plan of action. I also must inform you that this Gravol habit has calmed down a lot in recent months. At one time, I would literally always have Gravol in my system. I suppose I should explain why. Gravol works by "turning off" the signal in your brain that makes you vomit. Therefore, in my head, if I have Gravol in me, I can't vomit.
This next thing is likely the most ridiculous sounding of them all, but, for me it works. And again, after some research I've discovered this is actually a "symptom" of an emetophobe. I always have Halls or a mint nearby. I prefer Halls because the stronger the better. But the instant I feel anxious, I pop a Halls in my mouth and it calms me down. I have no idea why, maybe it is because it helps me take my mind off of my fear and allows me to focus on something else. I believe it acts in the same way that some people truly do better on exams while chewing gum. It subconsciously occupies your mind.
You can also try what I call the "tension technique." Lay down in bed, and completely flex every possible muscle in your body, making yourself stiff as a board. Hold it for a few seconds, and release, keep doing this over and over and it really brings down your anxiety levels. This is a technique a psychologist got me to try, and it is definitely effective.
Now for the cardinal sins of coping. I know that when I am anxious about getting sick I tend to start doing more research on Norovirus and other illnesses that cause vomiting. At the time I think that it will benefit me to re-assure myself that whatever I had been exposed to was not a way to catch the illness. That sentence may be hard to understand so I will explain with an example. If I went for coffee with someone (which is highly unlikely at this stage) and they informed me that their boyfriend had a stomach bug. I would instantly become anxious and more than likely become short of breath, experience nausea and heart palpitations. Once I get home I would be thinking of nothing except how I had been exposed to this "deathly" virus. So, I would then start doing more research, reading things I already know, to re-assure myself that I did not touch anything they touched and that the virus is not air-borne. However, in the end, this makes it 10 times worse. Yes I am getting the re-assurance my brain so desperately needs, but I am also keeping the topic fresh in my mind, thus making my anxiety worse. So when you find yourself in a situation where you feel like need to do more research and re-read everything you've read a million times...don't. It just makes the anxiety drag on.
One of the most important things, that I cannot stress enough, is that your usual Purell and other similar products do not kill viruses that cause vomiting. When purchasing your sanitizing products be sure to look for Benzethonium Chloride. You will find this specifically in Gold Bond Ultimate Hand Sanitizer and Wet Ones Sanitizing Wipes. The Gold Bond is by far my favorite as it comes in large bottles and purse size bottles. However, it can be hard to find. I have yet to find it where I live, but don't fret. I get mine at www.well.ca. They have good prices, quick shipping, and as a bonus, shipping is free in Canada so it is definitely worth checking out.
I apologize for such a lengthy entry, but I have so much to say and cannot seem to type fast enough to get it all out. I realize that I am still in recovery and cannot sit here and tell you how to fix your phobia, if I knew how, I would cure myself. My hope is that this will find at least one person who will benefit from it.
As you can likely tell, the best coping method, is to take steps to make it damn near impossible to get it to begin with. Practice safe cooking and good hygiene. I have one more important coping method, and this I cannot stress enough. Tell people what you are experiencing. Tell your mother, father, sister, brother, friend or spouse. Tell someone how it affects you. This can be extremely difficult, but you will be utterly shocked at the support system you likely have around you.
As usual, I encourage comments or e-mails from anyone experiencing this hellish fear. Talking with people going through the same thing can be incredibly helpful.
I will now leave you with one last suggestion. If you are like me and find that you have trouble sleeping at night, out of fear that you will wake up sick. Talk to your doctor about getting a medication to help you sleep. I take Zopiclone which puts you to sleep but also acts as an anti-anxiety medicine. It has been my saving grace for many nights.
-Drea
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Confessions of an Emetophobic
Emetophobia is not something many people have ever heard of, despite it being one of the top 10 phobias in the world, among other common phobias as heights, spiders, death and public speaking. What is Emetophobia? To put it simply, it is an extreme fear of vomit/vomiting. Some people who suffer from this are not afraid of vomiting, but they cannot even say the word vomit without extreme panic, while others, fear the physical act of vomiting. This fear can be so extreme that the sufferers become detached from society.
This is a HUGE step for me as only a few close friends and family members are aware that I suffer from Emetophobia. I have suffered with this since the age of 4 (according to my mother). For as long as I can remember the thought of getting sick terrified me to the point of a severe anxiety attack. However, I was able to function normally and live my life. Sure, I thought about it from time to time but for 22 years my phobia was at bay for the most part. The only time it really "flared" up was when I had been exposed to someone who had been ill, which was rare. Although, those "flare ups" ranged from moderate to severe. I specifically remember one time where my mother had to take me to the hospital because I had been become dehydrated from not eating or drinking for days (due to being scared of vomiting). My brain would tell me that if I didn't eat, I couldn't become ill. But, like I said, I was able to function in society, going to school and work. My phobia was actually a good thing at times. As a teenager I never took part in partying, drinking alcohol or using drugs...I won't lie, I wanted to, but I knew that those things could make me vomit so I just chose to stay away from it altogether -- which worked out well for me and my parents.
Most people who suffer from this fear keep it to themselves for their entire lives. Simply making excuses and lies to get out of certain things that would trigger their fear. That was me. My mother and brother were the only ones who knew about my fear, and even they did not know the extent to which it effected me. Only recently have I "come clean" to certain friends about this crippling fear. Why did I choose to tell them? As of last year, my phobia has taken hold of me and my entire life and it will not let go. I physically cannot do certain things without extreme panic, followed by days of panic and anxiety. A friend would invite me to the movies and I would make up an excuse as to why I couldn't go, the real reason...I was terrified that someone in that theater was sick, or had been sick and was still contagious, or had been around someone who had been sick. Sounds crazy right? The funny thing about this phobia is that I KNOW it is irrational. I am not a moron, I am very much aware that vomiting will not kill me, yet, my fight or flight jumps into gear when faced with such an illness. I can keep telling myself how ridiculous it is, but it makes no difference. That is what makes it a phobia, rather than a simple fear.
The steps that I take to ensure I don't become ill would make your head spin. I know every detail there is to know about illnesses that cause vomiting. I also know exactly what chemicals will kill such viruses and which ones wont. I know how it is passed along, incubation periods, etc. There are only certain hand sanitizers that kill the virus (Gold Bond Ultimate Sanitizer and Wet Ones). Purell and other common brands, don't kill it.
Now, why am I not able to function properly in public? Because, no offense, but humans are disgusting creatures. Disgusting in ways that YOU likely don't even think of. Here is an example. Norovirus (Norwalk) is ONLY transmitted via fecal and vomit particles. It is impossible to catch the virus through breathing, and even saliva. Let's think about that a moment. Anyone who has gotten Norovirus, HAD to have put something in their mouths that had such particles on it -- disgusting. So what measures do I take? It isn't anything crazy as every human being should practice these steps as it is simply good hygiene. I have Wet Ones and my special sanitizer at home and in the car. I never go anywhere without them. When I use my debit card or touch anything that anyone else has touched, I use these sanitizing agents before putting my hands anywhere near my face. Consider this. How many times have you gotten gas, gone into the store, and grabbed a snack. If you're anything like most people, you've done it often. So, you have your snack, you pay for your gas with your debit card and happily go back to your car. You then decide, while driving, to eat your snack. Sounds harmless yes? Wrong! There are so many things that you've touched that have disgusting amounts of germs on it. Firstly, the gas pump. Both the buttons and the nozzle are both filthy with every germ and bacteria you can imagine. Such viruses as Norovirus, survive freezing and extremely hot temperatures, so even in the middle of the winter, the gas pump is still crawling with disgusting little particles. Secondly, your snack. How many people have picked that exact item up only to decide on something else? More nasty germs on your hands. Thirdly, the debit machine. You could likely shiver in fear if you knew just how disgusting those machines are. Alright, so there are three things that are crawling with illness causing bacteria and now it is all over your hands. Now, for examples sake, you get into your car and proceed to sanitize your hands. Think you're in the clear? Not so much. These viruses stay on surfaces for up to two weeks! So, your hands are sanitized and you then take your debit card out of your pocket to replace it in your wallet or other card holding device. Your debit card, is a danger zone. It gets swiped through a machine that hundreds of cards are swiped through every day. And that cramped space never gets cleaned. So you are swiping your card through a germ infested machine. If you don't sanitize your debit card, then sanitizing your hands seems somewhat useless does it not?
Now, a lot of readers might think I am insane for putting that much thought into getting gas. But just take a moment and consider it. Am I wrong? How many of the people who have touched all those things decided to not wash their hands after using the bathroom. Or maybe they did wash their hands, only to turn the taps off with their freshly clean hands, only to contaminate them again. Just because you wash your hands after using the bathroom doesn't mean everyone does, especially children.
Getting ill is something that we have the ability to avoid, but humans are so disgusting in their habits that illness will always be a part of society. If everyone used the practices I do, there would be no such thing as pandemics, or even epidemics (excluding air borne illnesses of course). So, now you may wondering, what about all of this prevent me from functioning normally. Well, going out into public is a breeding zone for bacteria that cause illness. The reason is because I have no way of controlling other people and their hygienic practices. I consider it to be extremely un-nerving to know that people can be so germy and not even care.
So, how do I deal with this fear? As of late, I've been sticking to the safety of my home, more importantly, my room. I rarely interact with my room mates (excluding my fiance of course) because I have no way of knowing how sanitary they are. I have trained my fiance to be as sanitary as me. Also, my mother and step father have begun following in my clean footsteps. Obviously I am aware that I cannot live the rest of my life in the safety and comfort of my room. Therefore, I am currently seeing a psychologist once a week in hopes to cure my phobia. If it cannot be cured, I hope to at least be able to function with it. Learn some anxiety control and start really living my life. This phobia has completely crippled my life. I am beyond lucky to have such a wonderful fiance. He is about the only person who truly understands and supports me in this journey. Most people will just tell me to suck it up and tell me how I am using my phobia as an excuse not to work or be in school, when in reality, this is an illness in itself (ironically). I despise the term "mental illness", however, that is exactly what it is. I am sick, and I am taking all of the steps to get better. Ian (my fiance) is my rock and he supports me in everything I do. He completely understands how this effects me, even though he cannot fully understand why it affects me the way it does. My mother knows what I am going through, however, she cannot wrap her head around such a phobia, so her support in this is small, but it definitely helps.
What are my goals? I want to beat this thing. I want to go back to school, get my degree and get a job in my chosen career. I want to be able to go to concerts, movies and out for dinner. I want to be able to go on vacation. I want to be able to go out of the house without the constant strain of panic and anxiety. I know I can beat this and I will beat this.
My reason for writing this is because I think it is time to raise awareness about this crippling phobia that effects more people then you could ever imagine. This is a fear of something that is completely uncontrollable, that is what makes it so life changing. An extreme phobia of heights is controllable -- in the sense that one can simply avoid heights. One cannot ever completely avoid bacteria, viruses and germs.
I encourage anyone reading this who suffers from the same thing to step forward. Leave a comment and tell me your story. I invite any guest authors who wish to write their own story about their life with Emetophobia and I will feature those stories right here in this blog. I must put out a disclaimer. This is a very sensitive subject to hundreds of thousands of people, any negative or condescending comments shall be promptly deleted.
I truly thank you for reading this entry, it means a lot to me that you were interested enough to read through to the end.
-Drea
This is a HUGE step for me as only a few close friends and family members are aware that I suffer from Emetophobia. I have suffered with this since the age of 4 (according to my mother). For as long as I can remember the thought of getting sick terrified me to the point of a severe anxiety attack. However, I was able to function normally and live my life. Sure, I thought about it from time to time but for 22 years my phobia was at bay for the most part. The only time it really "flared" up was when I had been exposed to someone who had been ill, which was rare. Although, those "flare ups" ranged from moderate to severe. I specifically remember one time where my mother had to take me to the hospital because I had been become dehydrated from not eating or drinking for days (due to being scared of vomiting). My brain would tell me that if I didn't eat, I couldn't become ill. But, like I said, I was able to function in society, going to school and work. My phobia was actually a good thing at times. As a teenager I never took part in partying, drinking alcohol or using drugs...I won't lie, I wanted to, but I knew that those things could make me vomit so I just chose to stay away from it altogether -- which worked out well for me and my parents.
Most people who suffer from this fear keep it to themselves for their entire lives. Simply making excuses and lies to get out of certain things that would trigger their fear. That was me. My mother and brother were the only ones who knew about my fear, and even they did not know the extent to which it effected me. Only recently have I "come clean" to certain friends about this crippling fear. Why did I choose to tell them? As of last year, my phobia has taken hold of me and my entire life and it will not let go. I physically cannot do certain things without extreme panic, followed by days of panic and anxiety. A friend would invite me to the movies and I would make up an excuse as to why I couldn't go, the real reason...I was terrified that someone in that theater was sick, or had been sick and was still contagious, or had been around someone who had been sick. Sounds crazy right? The funny thing about this phobia is that I KNOW it is irrational. I am not a moron, I am very much aware that vomiting will not kill me, yet, my fight or flight jumps into gear when faced with such an illness. I can keep telling myself how ridiculous it is, but it makes no difference. That is what makes it a phobia, rather than a simple fear.
The steps that I take to ensure I don't become ill would make your head spin. I know every detail there is to know about illnesses that cause vomiting. I also know exactly what chemicals will kill such viruses and which ones wont. I know how it is passed along, incubation periods, etc. There are only certain hand sanitizers that kill the virus (Gold Bond Ultimate Sanitizer and Wet Ones). Purell and other common brands, don't kill it.
Now, why am I not able to function properly in public? Because, no offense, but humans are disgusting creatures. Disgusting in ways that YOU likely don't even think of. Here is an example. Norovirus (Norwalk) is ONLY transmitted via fecal and vomit particles. It is impossible to catch the virus through breathing, and even saliva. Let's think about that a moment. Anyone who has gotten Norovirus, HAD to have put something in their mouths that had such particles on it -- disgusting. So what measures do I take? It isn't anything crazy as every human being should practice these steps as it is simply good hygiene. I have Wet Ones and my special sanitizer at home and in the car. I never go anywhere without them. When I use my debit card or touch anything that anyone else has touched, I use these sanitizing agents before putting my hands anywhere near my face. Consider this. How many times have you gotten gas, gone into the store, and grabbed a snack. If you're anything like most people, you've done it often. So, you have your snack, you pay for your gas with your debit card and happily go back to your car. You then decide, while driving, to eat your snack. Sounds harmless yes? Wrong! There are so many things that you've touched that have disgusting amounts of germs on it. Firstly, the gas pump. Both the buttons and the nozzle are both filthy with every germ and bacteria you can imagine. Such viruses as Norovirus, survive freezing and extremely hot temperatures, so even in the middle of the winter, the gas pump is still crawling with disgusting little particles. Secondly, your snack. How many people have picked that exact item up only to decide on something else? More nasty germs on your hands. Thirdly, the debit machine. You could likely shiver in fear if you knew just how disgusting those machines are. Alright, so there are three things that are crawling with illness causing bacteria and now it is all over your hands. Now, for examples sake, you get into your car and proceed to sanitize your hands. Think you're in the clear? Not so much. These viruses stay on surfaces for up to two weeks! So, your hands are sanitized and you then take your debit card out of your pocket to replace it in your wallet or other card holding device. Your debit card, is a danger zone. It gets swiped through a machine that hundreds of cards are swiped through every day. And that cramped space never gets cleaned. So you are swiping your card through a germ infested machine. If you don't sanitize your debit card, then sanitizing your hands seems somewhat useless does it not?
Now, a lot of readers might think I am insane for putting that much thought into getting gas. But just take a moment and consider it. Am I wrong? How many of the people who have touched all those things decided to not wash their hands after using the bathroom. Or maybe they did wash their hands, only to turn the taps off with their freshly clean hands, only to contaminate them again. Just because you wash your hands after using the bathroom doesn't mean everyone does, especially children.
Getting ill is something that we have the ability to avoid, but humans are so disgusting in their habits that illness will always be a part of society. If everyone used the practices I do, there would be no such thing as pandemics, or even epidemics (excluding air borne illnesses of course). So, now you may wondering, what about all of this prevent me from functioning normally. Well, going out into public is a breeding zone for bacteria that cause illness. The reason is because I have no way of controlling other people and their hygienic practices. I consider it to be extremely un-nerving to know that people can be so germy and not even care.
So, how do I deal with this fear? As of late, I've been sticking to the safety of my home, more importantly, my room. I rarely interact with my room mates (excluding my fiance of course) because I have no way of knowing how sanitary they are. I have trained my fiance to be as sanitary as me. Also, my mother and step father have begun following in my clean footsteps. Obviously I am aware that I cannot live the rest of my life in the safety and comfort of my room. Therefore, I am currently seeing a psychologist once a week in hopes to cure my phobia. If it cannot be cured, I hope to at least be able to function with it. Learn some anxiety control and start really living my life. This phobia has completely crippled my life. I am beyond lucky to have such a wonderful fiance. He is about the only person who truly understands and supports me in this journey. Most people will just tell me to suck it up and tell me how I am using my phobia as an excuse not to work or be in school, when in reality, this is an illness in itself (ironically). I despise the term "mental illness", however, that is exactly what it is. I am sick, and I am taking all of the steps to get better. Ian (my fiance) is my rock and he supports me in everything I do. He completely understands how this effects me, even though he cannot fully understand why it affects me the way it does. My mother knows what I am going through, however, she cannot wrap her head around such a phobia, so her support in this is small, but it definitely helps.
What are my goals? I want to beat this thing. I want to go back to school, get my degree and get a job in my chosen career. I want to be able to go to concerts, movies and out for dinner. I want to be able to go on vacation. I want to be able to go out of the house without the constant strain of panic and anxiety. I know I can beat this and I will beat this.
My reason for writing this is because I think it is time to raise awareness about this crippling phobia that effects more people then you could ever imagine. This is a fear of something that is completely uncontrollable, that is what makes it so life changing. An extreme phobia of heights is controllable -- in the sense that one can simply avoid heights. One cannot ever completely avoid bacteria, viruses and germs.
I encourage anyone reading this who suffers from the same thing to step forward. Leave a comment and tell me your story. I invite any guest authors who wish to write their own story about their life with Emetophobia and I will feature those stories right here in this blog. I must put out a disclaimer. This is a very sensitive subject to hundreds of thousands of people, any negative or condescending comments shall be promptly deleted.
I truly thank you for reading this entry, it means a lot to me that you were interested enough to read through to the end.
-Drea
The preachers of tomorrow
Religion. A touchy subject everywhere across the globe. Lucky for you (and for me) this post is not about bashing religion! It is however, about atheism. I used to consider myself to be an atheist, and was not afraid to let it be known. Nowadays, I identify myself as agnostic, as I cannot truly say for 100% that there is no afterlife. Yes, Science has proven the theory of evolution, millions of people worldwide somehow bring themselves to ignore that, which does tend to annoy me. But, that is not why I am writing this entry.
I recently had an in depth debate with a strong atheist and that is my inspiration for this entry. Many atheists complain about Christians shoving their religious views down the throat of non-believers. And yes, I too find that to be rude and annoying. Whether it be missionaries knocking at your door, or friends and family urging you to go to church, pray, and believe in God (otherwise you will have a life of misery and live an eternity in hell). Either way, it is not right to try and force those beliefs on other people. <---- that sentence is something I hear almost every atheist I know say time and time again. A lot of those people do in fact practice what they preach, alternatively there seems to be an even larger number of atheists who become massive hypocrites. I have personally had many atheists tell me why there is no God and why I am wrong to doubt that fact. They laugh at you and consider you a moron for even doubting the scientific proof of evolution. I find this to be even more annoying than religious nuts throwing their beliefs in my face.
There is NO one person on this planet who can tell us, for 150%, that there IS or IS NOT an afterlife. Yes, we have science backing the theory of evolution...fantastic! But what we don't have, is solid proof that the afterlife does not exist. Now, you might say "Well Drea, there have been many testimonies of people dying on the operating table, when they were brought back they explained they saw a light, thats proof right there." Well, I am sorry to burst your bubble, but no, that is in no way proof of an afterlife. Why? Because there are just as many (if not more) occasions where someone has died briefly only to inform their loved ones that there is nothing there but darkness.
Christians often tell me to pray. They say that if I pray, my prayer will be answered in time. When God is ready to answer it. In HIS time. You're kidding me right? It isn't in God's time that these prayers are answered, it is in OUR time. For example...I could pray that to God that I find happiness and meaning in my life. It could take 10 years for me to achieve that, but when I do, I know it wasn't because of my prayer 10 years prior. I know it is because I worked hard to make myself truly happy. Everything happens in time...prayer or no prayer. For a moment, think about the concept of praying and how ridiculous it really is. Kneeling by your bed, or even driving in the car, you begin to say your prayer. Some may pray silently in their heads, others may pray vocally, either way, it is really far fetched to think that there is some being out there (without a physical body) that can hear those thoughts and words.
Anyhow, that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is to make it clear that atheists who preach their non-believing ways and scientific proof are NO better than the religious nuts they complain about. Atheists will say that it is terribly wrong to try and force a religious belief on you, however, many will turn around and say it is OK to preach the word of science and non-religious opinions. As an atheist, many feel offended when a religious person comes their way to spread the word of the Gospel. Well, don't you think that those religious beings are equally offended when you tell them their beliefs are wrong and idiotic?
In my non-professional opinion, there is no proof that there IS or IS NOT a God and that no human being has the right to tell anyone that there is or isn't, why? Because they have NO way of proving it.
As the old saying goes "put up or shut up."
-Drea
I recently had an in depth debate with a strong atheist and that is my inspiration for this entry. Many atheists complain about Christians shoving their religious views down the throat of non-believers. And yes, I too find that to be rude and annoying. Whether it be missionaries knocking at your door, or friends and family urging you to go to church, pray, and believe in God (otherwise you will have a life of misery and live an eternity in hell). Either way, it is not right to try and force those beliefs on other people. <---- that sentence is something I hear almost every atheist I know say time and time again. A lot of those people do in fact practice what they preach, alternatively there seems to be an even larger number of atheists who become massive hypocrites. I have personally had many atheists tell me why there is no God and why I am wrong to doubt that fact. They laugh at you and consider you a moron for even doubting the scientific proof of evolution. I find this to be even more annoying than religious nuts throwing their beliefs in my face.
There is NO one person on this planet who can tell us, for 150%, that there IS or IS NOT an afterlife. Yes, we have science backing the theory of evolution...fantastic! But what we don't have, is solid proof that the afterlife does not exist. Now, you might say "Well Drea, there have been many testimonies of people dying on the operating table, when they were brought back they explained they saw a light, thats proof right there." Well, I am sorry to burst your bubble, but no, that is in no way proof of an afterlife. Why? Because there are just as many (if not more) occasions where someone has died briefly only to inform their loved ones that there is nothing there but darkness.
Christians often tell me to pray. They say that if I pray, my prayer will be answered in time. When God is ready to answer it. In HIS time. You're kidding me right? It isn't in God's time that these prayers are answered, it is in OUR time. For example...I could pray that to God that I find happiness and meaning in my life. It could take 10 years for me to achieve that, but when I do, I know it wasn't because of my prayer 10 years prior. I know it is because I worked hard to make myself truly happy. Everything happens in time...prayer or no prayer. For a moment, think about the concept of praying and how ridiculous it really is. Kneeling by your bed, or even driving in the car, you begin to say your prayer. Some may pray silently in their heads, others may pray vocally, either way, it is really far fetched to think that there is some being out there (without a physical body) that can hear those thoughts and words.
Anyhow, that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is to make it clear that atheists who preach their non-believing ways and scientific proof are NO better than the religious nuts they complain about. Atheists will say that it is terribly wrong to try and force a religious belief on you, however, many will turn around and say it is OK to preach the word of science and non-religious opinions. As an atheist, many feel offended when a religious person comes their way to spread the word of the Gospel. Well, don't you think that those religious beings are equally offended when you tell them their beliefs are wrong and idiotic?
In my non-professional opinion, there is no proof that there IS or IS NOT a God and that no human being has the right to tell anyone that there is or isn't, why? Because they have NO way of proving it.
As the old saying goes "put up or shut up."
-Drea
Working toward our grave.
How do we, as humans in a society, live our lives? Some would say that we all live our lives differently, and yes, that is true -- to a point. Let me put it all out on the line and into perspective for you. We live the first 5 to 6 years of our lives with no care and no worry. We are innocent children, spending our days playing with toys, watching cartoons, or playing with other kids at day care. These years, are years we will hardly be able to remember by the time we reach the age of 10, yet these are the best years of our lives!
At the age of 6 we venture off into a new world of education! We are very excited to be going to school, to meet to friends and to learn how to read and write. It all seems so extraordinary to us! However, unbeknownst to us, the best time of our life, has come and gone. By the age of 7 it is all a distant memory. We attend school Monday through Friday from 8:45am to 2:30pm (of course the time frame varies from place to place and from school to school). We come home from school and we enjoy a precious hour or two playing outside or watching TV. Then suddenly, that precious time is gone, completely destroyed by our parents calling us to the table for dinner. Dinner is quickly followed by our nightly homework session. Shortly thereafter...bed time, only to wake up the following day and repeat the exact same process.
We continue on this monotonous path that we have been given for a minimum of 12 years. However, the majority of us will continue on for a minimum of 4 more years to achieve a post-secondary education. So, we are we now? A minimum of 16 years of education. YES, education IS important, but, the reason it is SO important to add those extra 4+ years is because of what WE have made our society to be. If one wants to make enough money to support themselves and their families, with little to no extras, we MUST obtain an undergraduate degree or some form of college diploma. This truly sickens me. In order to be considered a worthy member of society, we must endure 16+ years of education. One would think that giving 16 or more years of your life would be considered generous and that we could spend our remaining years enjoying life! But NO! We must then enter the work force. The work force is something that no one really considers to be a bad thing. It is a "norm". Yet, this "norm" is something that WE created.
Each human being has a set number of years on this Earth before we curl up and die, either a painful or comfortable death. Either way, death is always knocking on our door, its only a matter of time before we answer that knock. Our parents generation is all about working. They grew up knowing nothing bu work. "If you want to have bread this week, you have to work 60 hours, and I am fine with that." That is their mind set. They have ZERO value for free time, something folks my age cherish. To our parents, we are INSANE for not wanting to work 40+ hours a week. Why would we? Think about it! After those long 16 years of school 5 days a week, we dive into the work force only to work 5-6 days of the week, 8.5 hours each day. Where is the free time we cherish so dearly? It's gone! Why should we spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to obtain an education that we REQUIRE to get a good paying job in society? Read that sentence a few times, mull it over, then answer it! The answer is clear. We shouldn't have to. When the words in that question actually hit home, you will see how insane it really is. We are paying, out of our pockets, so we can make enough money to survive. How does that make ANY sense?
Sure, I am unemployed right now, and I honestly hate that about myself. However, the time I spend sitting at home leads me to begin thinking about the way we live our lives. Right now, if I want to watch TV, I watch TV. If I want to go for a swim, I go for a swim. I do not have to hope and pray that I can get off work early enough to be able to the things I want to do. Often times people wonder why college students party and go out so often. The reason is simple. After our university careers are over, we are left with nothing. We are left with a job that is likely shift work, that pays JUST enough to pay our way in this world. We quickly come to realize that time spent with friends and family diminishes because we all work different jobs, with different hours, making it near impossible to make time for each other.
I am sure that each and every person reading this knows of a few individuals who work really hard to have luxuries that the majority of us cannot afford, such as boats, cottages, and RV's. But, think about how much time they have to enjoy the things they worked so hard for! I know many people who have purchased various luxuries and have seen those luxuries do nothing but gather dust. Why? Because in order to have them, we must spend the majority of our time working. What is the point of working our asses of just to have no time to enjoy the fruits of our labor?
We work, work, and work some more until the age of 65 or older. At which point we will be too old to truly enjoy these things. Sure, we will be able to enjoy certain things, we will enjoy doing things that most elderly people enjoy doing. However, throughout our entire lives we would have gone through various phases where different things were important to us, but we never got to thoroughly enjoy doing them because we were too busy punching the clock.
The ironic thing about our society today is that it is our own fault. There was a time when every individual and every family built their own houses, grew their own food, and slaughtered their own meat. But then, somewhere down the line, some idiot thought "Hmmm, I could just borrow money to buy a house that's already built, this will save me time and let me do more enjoyable things." Wow, talk about a bad call. I am betting that person had new idea that they would spend the rest of their lives working hundreds of hours a month just to pay off that house (which was supposed to give them more free time)! It is somewhat comical. Do me a favor. Go to a busy part of town and just sit and watch society. Always rushing to make that meeting or that doctors appointment. We have made it so there are not enough hours in the day to do everything we need to do. Where do you think Day Light Savings time came from? We had to create it so we could have more day light hours so we could work MORE! We CHANGED TIME so we could WORK MORE. How absurd is that?
So, in conclusion, take a look at your life. Take some time to realize that from the day you are born, you are expected to get yourself educated, work your ass off, only to die a few short years later. Allow me to quickly put this into perspective a little better. The average Canadian female will live to be 75 years of age. 75 years equals 27,375 days. Seems like a lot right? Well, lets look at how many days we spend doing things like school and work...assuming the average person works and/or attends school for 60 of those years. Working 5 days a week for 60 years equals, 15,600 days. Leaving us with a mere 11,775 days for other things such as childhood, retirement, and raising our families. Doesn't seem right does it?
I truly believe that when our parents generation begin to retire and we begin to take over, we will notice a difference in the way the world works. My generation VALUE our free time, we cherish our hobbies and time with friends. Work is not number one on our list. You will see employers hiring more employees but each employee will likely be working an average of 4 days a week and likely shorter hours as well. This is because we realize that as of this moment, our lives are nothing more than working to our grave, literally! (Burying ourselves costs a pretty penny, we must ensure we have good life insurance so we can be properly buried). Imagine that, we are LITERALLY working to to our grave. Kind of depressing isn't it?
-Drea
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