I have had the same best friend for over 13 years (see photo, that does me no justice - circa 2008). We met in the 6th grade and spent the majority of our teen years together, hanging out and having fun. I have more memories with her then with any other person (even my fiance). But what makes her my best friend? I have had a lot of "best friends" come and go throughout my life, and now I realize that I've only ever really had one best friend.
Growing up together, our parents had a rough time. Her parents despised me and my parents hated her. They were under the impression that we were a "bad influence" on each other. Yes, I will admit it, we got into our fair share of mischief. Mind you, this mischief was pretty innocent, we never drank alcohol or got involved with drugs. We did tend to be obnoxious when together, thus making our parents assume it was the other girl. To this day I find it nonsensical that our parents were never grateful that we weren't calling them to pick our drunk selves up at a party, nor did we ever get taken home by the police. This was a common trend among other teenagers, but we chose to do our own thing...stray away from the crowd. Often times I think that my parents would have preferred that I had done those things rather than spending all of our time together.
However, undeterred by the feelings put forth by our parents, we continued our friendship. All of the major memories of my teenage years have her and I enjoying it together. I can still clearly remember the first day I got my license. My mother worked that night and agreed to let me use her car for the duration of her shift. I was ecstatic! Naturally, she was with me that evening. We just drove and drove, finally feeling completely free. My mother was very generous with her car, she let me use it almost every time I requested it. Sadly, to say I was a disrespectful teenager would be an understatement. Both Ashley and I felt that we deserved to use my mothers car day in and day out, regardless of whether she herself needed it. Now, as a 24 year old adult, I realize just how disrespectful I was. Unaffectedly, my mother blamed this disrespect on Ashley. In reality, I was disrespectful because I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and for some reason -- which I will never know -- I felt I deserved that right.
There is not a whole lot that Ashley and I haven't gone through together. We have lived together (for a short time), worked together, and spent every possible minute with each other. We both grew up in a small city, of a general population of approximately 14,000. We were known around town, although never by name. We had our regular spots that we would visit, such as Bakin Donuts or Tim Hortons. If I were to go somewhere alone -- which was rare -- I would be questioned at least once..."where is your side kick?" It got to the point that some of the more immature people in town began spreading rumors that we were lesbians (which I still find to be completely hilarious), but at the time, I found it bothersome. I began wondering if it was weird that we spent so much time together. I started thinking about the situation and realized that I was lucky! I had something that most people never get to have. A true best friend.
We have had a few noteworthy fights in our time as friends. One of which prevented us from talking for a little over a year! As I am sure you can imagine, this was really hard to deal with. Making new friends just wasn't good enough, I could never -- no matter how hard I tried -- find a friend that shared the same interests and sense of humor as Ashley did. Everywhere I went, I had memories of us. Eventually, we would begin talking again, often it seemed as though it was an act of fate. The last time we "made up" after a year long fight, we started talking again on Neopets!! We used to both be obsessed with Neopets and one day I decided to log into my old account (which I hadn't touched in a year or two). While surfing around the site, I decided to send a message to Ashley's old account. I really and truly thought she would never see it, as she hadn't used the site for a couple of years as well. To my surprise, the next day I had a message from her. I turns out, we both had the idea to visit that website at the same general time. It was sort of creepy. So, we arranged to meet at the church (the same church we used to go to when we skipped school).
We were quickly able to go back to the way we once were, as if nothing had even happened. We have been through a lot together. I must admit, one of the most heart breaking days of my life was when she packed up and moved to Dallas, Texas. I was beyond sad, yet at the same time I was happy because she was finally following her dream! I figured that she would leave and our friendship would move along with her. I couldn't have been more wrong. We spoke almost every day and skyped a few times a week. Both of our significant others were not fond of us. My boyfriend at the time actually requested that I choose between him and her (as he disliked her completely), at one time she was given the same ultimatum. I chose her. I told him that boyfriends come and go, a friend like Ashley, comes around once in a lifetime (and not everyone has the chance to experience having one). Unfortunately, when she was given that choice, she chose her boyfriend. One would think I would resent her for that, but I don't. Not even a little bit. I completely understand why she did what she did, and that's all that matters. No one else needs to know (so don't ask). While she was gone, I started school and made it to university, which made me so happy and proud. 2 years ago, Ashley returned, I was beyond happy, yet I somehow knew that things would never be the same...and they weren't. I lived in a different city and was attending school. I had made a hoard of new friends (as I had no choice, I had no friends once she left).
At this time, I realized that we talked more when she was in Dallas. This was hurtful and hard to accept. But we had both grown up a lot since she left, we had gone through a lot of hardships and our lives just changed so drastically.
Now, I still live in a different city, I am engaged and extremely happy. She lives in the city where we grew up, she works a lot of hours, lives on her own, and has an awesome boyfriend. She is also very happy. I haven't seen her in months (partially due to my own personal reasons, which you can read about in some past posts), but we talk on MSN almost everyday and I plan to see her very soon.
The question still remains...what IS a best friend? A best friend is someone who you can share literally anything with and they won't look down on you, no matter how ridiculous it may be. It is someone who isn't afraid to tell you when you're wrong or where you can better yourself. It is someone who you can go years without seeing and pick up where you left off when you do see each other again. A best friend is someone who will always support you no matter how much it affects them. They are someone who has the guts to tell you that your boyfriend is a douche, without you hating them for it (I have to "lol" at that one!). They are the one person who will always encourage you to follow your dreams -- but continue to watch out for you in case there is "danger" involved in following those dreams. They will piss you off and make you laugh, they will always be there when you need them. A best friend would fly half way across the world to get you out of trouble (if the financial means were available). A best friend will never reveal your secrets and embarrassing photos (even when you fight and don't talk for years)
Ashley is all of these things and I hope I am all of those things too. Until the day I die, Ashley will be my one and only best friend. No one in this world knows more about me than her. She is one of the only people I can trust 100%.
So next time you are thinking about who your best friend is...consider this post. How many of you have a friend like that? Of course, plenty do, but I have come to discover that it is a lot more rare than one would think. Young people these days are much more focused on having a large group of friends, whereas I was happy with one really close friend. Nothing can replace a best friend. Regular friends come and go through your entire life, what is so special about that? I couldn't imagine having no one on this planet who knows everything there is to know about me. Think about this and don't take your closest friends for granted. A friend like this is hard to come by!
Thank you everyone for taking the time to read my blog. As someone who has a strong passion for writing, it means a lot to me that you take time out of your day to read these. It would mean a lot if you would check out Ashley's blog! She is an awesome writer (we have different styles of course), but there is a lot of good information in her blog. Just follow this link to support her blog! bashleyblog.blogspot.com
-Drea
