I used to hate Valentines day as a kid, because it was a popularity contest among school aged children. I found it to be appalling that each year the teacher had to make it clear that each and every student was to receive a Valentine. Obviously this was because, the less popular kids -- like myself -- would end the day with only a small handful of the cute little cards. I was one of those unpopular kids who didn't want to get an abundance of cards. Even at that age, I knew it was a stupid holiday.
As an adult, when I was single, I looking at February 14th the same as any other day. I didn't celebrate a form on anti-vday like some tend to do, and I didn't spend the evening drinking wine with my other single friends, feeling sorry for myself. No, it was just a regular day. Now, I am engaged to the most amazing man! He treats me like a queen and makes me happier then I have ever been. And yet still, Valentines day means nothing to me. We don't exchange gifts, he doesn't get me flowers or chocolate or jewelry. And I love that! He has gotten me flowers, chocolate and even gorgeous jewelry on other occasions, which make it even more special. When he comes home and gives me a kiss and flowers just because he feels like it, makes me SO happy.
What is so special about getting gifts and cards on February 14th. It isn't. Every second person is getting the same thing. There is nothing special about it because its what we're "meant" to do. Because we live with room mates, we take advantage of February 14th by hoping our room mates have made plans so we can enjoy some quiet time alone.
I really do feel bad for all those men out there at the flower stores, and jewelry stores running around looking for the perfect thing that says "I love you". Here is a tip, you want to say I love you in a special way? While you're watching a movie together, pull her in close, kiss her and look her in the eyes and explain to her how your life would crumble without her in it, that you have never loved anyone as much as you love her. You don't need flowers, chocolate and gifts to show that you love someone. In fact, personally, I look at that as being the most insensitive possible way to express your love.
Valentines day is a holiday that was created by western society. The holiday originated from the ancient Roman fesitval of Luercalia, a fertility celebration that used to be observed annually on February 15th. But, the rise of Christianity in Europe saw many pagan holidays being renamed for and dedicated to the early Christian martyrs. Luercalia was no exception. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius turned Lupercalia into a Christian feast day and set its observance a day earlier, on February 14th. This day was to be a feast day in honor of Saint Valentine, a Roman martyr who lived in the 3rd century. Is it this St. Valentine whom the modern Valentines Day honors. Yet, western society had to completely commercialize another day in history.
I must also say that I cannot blame this on men! Shocking I know! I am sure that if it were up to most men, they wouldn't be spending hundreds on gifts either. It is us, as women, who expect something on Valentines day, and if it isn't received, we throw a shit fit. I never understood why women felt they were entitled to anything on Valentines day. As a woman, with a wonderful fiance, I feel this way. Many feel that people who feel this way about Valentines day are just bitter because they are single. Not true, just as many happy couples feel the same.
As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate each and every one of you!
Cheers,
-Drea
