Well folks, the time has finally come. Ian and I are starting a fresh, new life and we couldn't be happier. After months of stress, job hunting, and empty bank accounts, we've made the massive decision to move away. Yes, I have "moved away" before, I left my hometown of Summerside and moved an hour away to Charlottetown. I loved living there, it was a whole different world than Summerside. It was "the big city" for me as I had grown up in Summerside, a much smaller, quieter, less cultural city. There I was, loving life in what I thought was the biggest place I'd ever live. Then, between student loan mix ups and our economy (job cuts) failing, things turned to hell. Ian was working, but I couldn't seem to find anything.
After a couple of months, we made the tough (and humiliating) decision to move in with my mother and step-father (in Summerside). Neither of us wanted to do so, but we were left with no choice, we just simply couldn't afford to live otherwise. We've been here a little over a month now, and I have yet to find a job. Ian is working, but not near full time hours, and I have been searching for a job since we got here, I have had only one interview and haven't heard a thing back. Both of us quickly became stressed out and knew we needed to come up with a new plan.
There have been numerous (250+) job cuts on PEI recently, in a small province, that makes finding a job near impossible. Our economy is garbage and there is nothing to be had. After much discussion and planning, we made a choice. We knew we needed to move off island, the question was...how! How were we going to save enough money to move to another province, get an apartment, and survive...without jobs in said province? It was the dilemma of year. Initially, we were discussing moving to Toronto. We figured, it is a massive city with a lot of opportunities, and we could easily save enough money to live in a cheap hostel while we found jobs and an apartment. However, after a little more though, we realized that we did not know anyone in Toronto, no friends and no family. We'd be alone in this huge city that neither of us had been to before. Sure, its been done...but it just was too much of a risk for us. We started to lose hope. I found myself laying in bed until 6am just thinking about how neither of us will be landing full time jobs in the near future and how we must find an apartment by September. I was lost, depressed, cranky and stressed.
Then, one of the most amazing people I know, stepped back into my life and agreed to help us!! I was starting to think the world was against us, but I now realize there are still good people out there. Let me explain. I messaged my good friend Katie, who currently lives in Ottawa. I explained my situation and "vented" to her about everything that has been going on. Then, I had to swallow my pride and ask the question I did not want to ask anyone...I asked her if she had room to let us crash there for 2 weeks MAX while we found jobs and an apartment. To my surprise, she said YES and said we can stay as long as it takes to find what we need to get settled. I could not believe it!! I was in awe. I mean, I always knew she was a really good friend and would always be there for me, but this was just unreal. I still have not thanked her enough.
Now, I must explain that I did not choose Ottawa for that one purpose. I have a decent amount of lovely family members there, and 3 of my close friends (Katie included) live there. I know the city really well as I have been going there since I was a kid. It is a really clean, upbeat, beautiful city and deep down I have always wanted to live there. I am beyond excited for this, as is Ian. I am leaving PEI on July 3rd, 2012 and have no plans on returning (other than to visit family and friends). Ian will not be joining me in Ottawa until 2 weeks later, for financial reasons, but I think we can survive 2 weeks apart in order to have a fresh start.
Bring on the jobs, education, and city life!! And Katie, my dear, dear Katie....Thank you again!! You are saving us!!!
-Drea
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Is is really SO bad?
Years and years ago I discovered an online game. World of Warcraft. This game completely took hold of me and I was severely addicted to it for almost a year. Most days I would play for up to 16 hours and do nothing else. I loved every possible thing about the game. The questing, characters, lore, raids, dungeons, and my biggest favorite - the sense of community.
I stopped playing it for a while, but missed it terribly. I now play it again, I currently play it a lot, but I don't find myself craving to play it. I know that when I move to Summerside and start working, it won't be an issue.
Now, on to the main point of this entry. So many people "diss" me because I play WoW. Yeah, I agree, I am a nerd. I am a gamer and I love it, whether it be WoW or Mass Effect. The worst thing someone can say to me is "Why don't you try making some friends and being social." This comment is said by people who do not understand gaming, whatsoever. It really bothers me because it makes it sound like I have no social skills and have no friends.
In today's world, having friends, does not mean they are there in flesh and blood. I have friends "in real life", why is it SO wrong for me to have friends online as well? Some of my closest friends are people I've never met. Years ago when I first started WoW, I met some awesome people in game. We formed a guild together and always had a fun time, sometimes, we wouldn't even be playing the game, we would just sit there and talk. We use a program called Ventrilo which allows us to actually speak to each other, rather than just typing. I got so close to many of these people that we would text each other and add each other to Facebook. Why is having these types of friends, a bad thing?
A lot of people have asked me to do something and I've turned them down because I was busy. They asked what I was doing, and I would proceed to tell them that I am having an important conversation with -- for examples sake, we will call him John -- John and couldn't bail. I would then get shunned for turning down my "real life friend" for someone I've never met. Here's the problem with that. These friends are human beings too. We've been online/gaming friends for years and we know each other really well. When one of us has a problem, we can go to the other and talk about it. Some of these friends have even helped me through some really tough times. Just because I can't physically see them, doesn't make them any less of a friend.
Now on to another social benefit of WoW. There is a sense of "brotherhood" amongst WoW players. Here is an example. An old friend of mine started dating this new guy (years ago), she wanted me to meet him. I had heard rumors about him and had made up my mind that I didn't like him. I put up a fuss but eventually agreed to go play some pool with them so we could meet. I was quiet most of the time, until two little words were spoken. He said something and I heard "night elf". At this point, my facial expression changed and I asked him if he played WoW. Luckily for me, he did play WoW. The rest of the night we barely shut up because we had so much to talk about. Especially since he played a different faction then me. This sounds really lame, I know. But, he is now one of my best friends (despite no longer dating my other friend), and we are room mates. If he hadn't played WoW, we likely would never have become friends.
It has a "secret club" kind of feel to it. You can get a group of 20 people together, 10 who play WoW, 10 who know nothing about it. The 10 WoW'ers will talk all night and if someone from the other 10 people were to listen in, they would have literally NO idea what was being said. It is almost like talking in code. Words like, HoT, DoT, lock, retadin, huntard, Org, Dal, UBRS, pron, DK...etc. To us, it makes sense. That is another thing I love about it. My room mate and I can sit here and have an hour long conversation while my other room mate has literally no clue what we are saying.
Playing WoW not only makes you some amazing friends online, but it can lead to even better "real life" friendships. This doesn't just apply to WoW either. The point I am trying to make is this...just because someone chooses to have numerous friends online -- whether it be from games, forums, or chatrooms -- they shouldn't be called down for it. I guarantee I have more close friends than most of those who diss me for me. With technology these days, people are going to continue making friends this way...so get over it.
The 7 million people who log on to WoW everyday, is a pretty close knit group, both inside and outside the World....of Warcraft.
I stopped playing it for a while, but missed it terribly. I now play it again, I currently play it a lot, but I don't find myself craving to play it. I know that when I move to Summerside and start working, it won't be an issue.
Now, on to the main point of this entry. So many people "diss" me because I play WoW. Yeah, I agree, I am a nerd. I am a gamer and I love it, whether it be WoW or Mass Effect. The worst thing someone can say to me is "Why don't you try making some friends and being social." This comment is said by people who do not understand gaming, whatsoever. It really bothers me because it makes it sound like I have no social skills and have no friends.
In today's world, having friends, does not mean they are there in flesh and blood. I have friends "in real life", why is it SO wrong for me to have friends online as well? Some of my closest friends are people I've never met. Years ago when I first started WoW, I met some awesome people in game. We formed a guild together and always had a fun time, sometimes, we wouldn't even be playing the game, we would just sit there and talk. We use a program called Ventrilo which allows us to actually speak to each other, rather than just typing. I got so close to many of these people that we would text each other and add each other to Facebook. Why is having these types of friends, a bad thing?
A lot of people have asked me to do something and I've turned them down because I was busy. They asked what I was doing, and I would proceed to tell them that I am having an important conversation with -- for examples sake, we will call him John -- John and couldn't bail. I would then get shunned for turning down my "real life friend" for someone I've never met. Here's the problem with that. These friends are human beings too. We've been online/gaming friends for years and we know each other really well. When one of us has a problem, we can go to the other and talk about it. Some of these friends have even helped me through some really tough times. Just because I can't physically see them, doesn't make them any less of a friend.
Now on to another social benefit of WoW. There is a sense of "brotherhood" amongst WoW players. Here is an example. An old friend of mine started dating this new guy (years ago), she wanted me to meet him. I had heard rumors about him and had made up my mind that I didn't like him. I put up a fuss but eventually agreed to go play some pool with them so we could meet. I was quiet most of the time, until two little words were spoken. He said something and I heard "night elf". At this point, my facial expression changed and I asked him if he played WoW. Luckily for me, he did play WoW. The rest of the night we barely shut up because we had so much to talk about. Especially since he played a different faction then me. This sounds really lame, I know. But, he is now one of my best friends (despite no longer dating my other friend), and we are room mates. If he hadn't played WoW, we likely would never have become friends.
It has a "secret club" kind of feel to it. You can get a group of 20 people together, 10 who play WoW, 10 who know nothing about it. The 10 WoW'ers will talk all night and if someone from the other 10 people were to listen in, they would have literally NO idea what was being said. It is almost like talking in code. Words like, HoT, DoT, lock, retadin, huntard, Org, Dal, UBRS, pron, DK...etc. To us, it makes sense. That is another thing I love about it. My room mate and I can sit here and have an hour long conversation while my other room mate has literally no clue what we are saying.
Playing WoW not only makes you some amazing friends online, but it can lead to even better "real life" friendships. This doesn't just apply to WoW either. The point I am trying to make is this...just because someone chooses to have numerous friends online -- whether it be from games, forums, or chatrooms -- they shouldn't be called down for it. I guarantee I have more close friends than most of those who diss me for me. With technology these days, people are going to continue making friends this way...so get over it.
The 7 million people who log on to WoW everyday, is a pretty close knit group, both inside and outside the World....of Warcraft.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Never give in!
Wow, it has been far too long since I have made a post. In my defense I have been doing a lot of self-healing and been away from the computer most of the time. However, I am back and better than ever!
Today I am going to be talking about something that has tormented me my entire life. I know plenty of other people, both friends and family, who have struggled with it their entire lives. Luckily, I have gotten away from it -- YES, I am struggling, but in the end, it will be worth it.
So what am I talking about? Addiction? No. I am talking about pressure! For as long as I can remember I was faced with pressure from everyone around me to be a certain way, act a certain way, live a certain way. As a teenager and young(er) adult, I did tend to ignore this pressure and do what I wanted. Which is great!! However, I was missing one big piece of the puzzle, my own plan. Since I was 18 I have basically been living on my own. I worked in dead end jobs and couldn't pay my bills, but somehow, with the help of family, I survived. It was wonderful -- so I thought -- to be "on my own" and living according to my own "plan". That "plan" was to just live day by day doing whatever I needed to in order to barely make it through and spend the rest of my time doing whatever I wanted. At 18, that seemed so glamorous compared to living at home, with rules, curfews and nagging parents.
The biggest problem with the entire scenario, was that I had zero long term plans. I often talked about someday finishing school and getting a degree...talked about becoming a doctor or a nurse. Making myself believe I could actually do these things, when deep down, I knew I couldn't. Months would go by, and I would listen to my parents and friends lecture me about how my life is leading no where and I will be nothing more than what I currently was if I didn't do something. At the time, this went in one ear and out the other. I retained nothing -- why? -- because I didn't want to. To me, they were just preaching like they always had -- that IS what parents do afterall.
Flash forward to age 21. I am living in a basement, one bedroom apartment. It is in a constant state of disgusting. A massive mess at all times. I wasn't working, paying rent from EI, spending my days playing computer games and eating cans of beans because I had nothing else. I'd buy cigarettes before food, and buy game time instead of paying for my cable. My priorities were completely out of whack. Then, one day, something clicked! I have no idea what it was, but myself and Ashley decided we were going to take our GED exam -- without studying -- and hope for the best. We figured that if we at least had our GED, we would be able to make something....anything of ourselves. Thankfully, I passed...barely. I passed by one mark. I decided to ignore the advice of everyone around me and venture out into the world and try to land that "amazing job" I figured I deserved because I had my GED. I don't think I could have been more wrong. Instead, I started a job as a Marketing and Advertising Manager -- which seemed to be way to good to be true -- and I was right. After my first shift, I ended up being molested and it turned into a court case lasting all summer. That was my last straw. I made a conscience decision to not let this situation ruin my life (as it often can). I decided to completely forget the entire incident and move on with my life.
At that point I decided that I needed more education to make it anywhere in life. Also, I had finally decided I wanted to make it in this world, on my own. However, I also thought that if I a little more education, I'd nail the high paying job and live a life of happiness and luxury. Easy right? Not so much. I attended Holland College in order to upgrade some of my credits. As you have likely figured out, I dropped out of high school (3 times) and barely had a grade 9 education. Nevertheless, I took on high school academic credits. I initially had planned to get all of my credits in order to have a complete academic high school diploma. I found out that with a little effort, I was actually good at something -- which I never thought before. I realized that I had a huge passion for writing, and surprisingly, I was good at it. I completed my English, Canadian History, and Advanced Political Studies credits in 7 months. My final grade in all courses was not lower than a 92%.
I was ecstatic. I finally felt like I had accomplished something. I had an amazing support system. My instructor, Leanne, was amazing. She believed in me, and she saw the potential I had and she pushed me to do what she knew I could do. There were times that I felt she hated me and was being strict with me for that reason. After a while I realized that she saw talent in me, and she had to be hard on me so I would produce my best possible work. I have never corrected so many commas in my entire life! Needless to say, I tend to be a stickler for comma use now. After realizing that I wasn't a complete idiot, I decided to apply to the University of Prince Edward Island. I really and truly had no thoughts about actually getting in. Take a moment to consider the facts. I had completed only up to 9th grade, got my GED, and had a total of three grade 12 academic credits. The outlook was not good. However, I waited and waited and finally I got that wonderful letter. I got in! I instantly began to cry and ran upstairs to show my mother (who was waiting for me in the driveway). We both cried. All of this time, I thought those around me, preaching to me that I was smart and just needed to put my mind to it, were wrong. I truly thought I had the right idea of what the perfect life should be.
That simple letter gave me the push I needed. The following September I was ready to go! I moved into residence and started my university classes. I quickly discovered that I had a big love for the field of Psychology. First semester, I did really well. I got all but one credit, and got good marks in the other 4. This shocked me as I had such little education, but with the amazing professors, studying, and my passion allowed me to do well. Then, after 22 years of never consuming any of it, I discovered alcohol. I realized that I loved the party scene and Captain Morgan Rum even more. By the middle of second semester, I had barely attended any classes and was partying a minimum of 2 nights a week. Yet, I was loving it! As you have likely read in previous posts, I never had a lot of friends. I was never social, I had such low self esteem that I would just keep to myself. All of a sudden -- thanks to my brother -- I had friends, a lot of friends. Just like me, these friends enjoyed partying. The rest of the year is sort of a blur. It involved a lot of partying, and doing a whole lot of nothing. I passed one class second semester, by a hair. I moved back home for the summer and got a job which I loved. I had turned into this social butterfly and spent all my free time with friends. I worked my ass off, often 60 hours a week, but I loved my co-workers and the job itself. When I was not working, I was out with my new found best friend Jake in my car that I was so proud of!
It was one of the best summers of my life. Sure, Ashley wasn't there, but we had both been forced to move on friend wise as she was a world away. Nearing the end of the summer, I almost decided not to go back to UPEI. Again, I had found something I enjoyed and figured it would be like that forever if I kept at it. Thankfully, with some encouragement from some friends, I decided to go back. I didn't live in the dorm as I didn't want to be in the party scene any more. Literally, one week before school started, I met someone who completely knocked me off my feet, flat on my ass -- in a good way. I met Ian. From our first date, I knew there was something special about him. Just looking at him made me smile, made me feel safe, and made me feel beautiful. He was so quiet and shy, which I found intriguing, as I was now a very social person. I think he may have said 30 words our entire first date, but that was all it took. We went on a few more dates before making our relationship official.
Needless to say, I wanted to spend every free moment with him. He made me happier than I could ever remember being. We quickly fell completely in love and I put school on the back burner in order to surround myself with him. To some, this may seem like a silly move. At the time, I somewhat felt that way myself. I proceeded to drop out for year (with intentions of returning the following year). I was in this wonderful world of love, lust, and fun. He made me feel like a queen -- and still does. I got a job and we moved into a small motel room together.
This seemed like a quick move to most people. However, we became very close, very quick. We simply loved being around each other all the time. Leaving each other at night hurt so bad. He would leave my place in Summerside to go back to town and I would cry. When I went to his place, I would wait for him to fall asleep before sneaking out to head home, usually at 3am. It was a love like I had never felt before, and never thought I would ever feel.
Again, I had people around me preaching that I need to go back to school and finish my degree. At this point, I agreed and did go back. I went back part time and managed to get another 2 credits. And that was it. I decided that school just wasn't for me at this time because I needed to work in order to help us live. To pay my share of rent and other bills I needed a full time job as student loans just didn't cover it. Many thought this was the wrong choice, and honestly, so did I. After some time I began writing on my own time. I had a password protected "diary" online that I would write in. It was then that I realized that I did love Psychology, but I didn't have the passion for it as I did with writing. So, a year later, I entered Holland College as a Journalism student. I loved it! I was so excited to put my passion to work for me. I did extremely well and my teacher even told me that I had a huge amount of natural journalistic talent and that he was amazed at my writing ability. This made me so happy. It was the first time I felt 100% validated. I now knew that I did have a natural ability and that following my passion was the right choice.
Unfortunately, student loan issues and medical problems forced me to yet again, leave school. However, I can promise the world that I will be back in September. During my short time in Journalism school, I managed to get some very high profile interviews, including Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy. I quickly realized that not only was I a good writer, I had the "balls" (excuse my expression) to do what I needed to do, to get the story I wanted to get.
My future plans is to finish J-School with a diploma from Holland College and a degree from UPEI. However, I am hoping to get into show business. No, not as an actress or a singer. As a reporter or publicist. This dream will become a reality.
As seen in previous posts, I am currently going through some tough stuff. However, Ian is by my side, supporting me and helping me get well and we are making it through. I have been doing a lot better lately and it is all thanks to him (and my shrink hehe). I could write a novel on how much love I have for Ian and how amazing he is, but that is for another day.
This entry may seem all over the place, but the point is this: No matter what you preach to someone, it is not likely to work. Every person needs to figure themselves out...on their own. You can preach until you are blue in the face..."Get an education" "Be a doctor" "Do something with your life." It doesn't matter what way you say it, it is useless. One person may be completely happy working at a corner store, making $10 an hour, while others will not be happy until they have a million in the bank. The point is, happiness is what matters. If you are barely making it by, but you are genuinely happy in your situation, then keep on keepin on! If you aren't happy...do something about it. Stop moping, feeling bad for yourself. If I can do it, you can do it. I had a grade 9 education and now I am half way to being a university graduate. Nothing is impossible. Never do what you friends, parents, or spouse tells you should do. Do what YOU want to do. However, in saying that, you also need to ensure that you and your family are properly taken care of.
That is my story. I sincerely hope that it helps even one person to make a life choice that is right for them. As always, thank you for reading! <3
-Drea
Today I am going to be talking about something that has tormented me my entire life. I know plenty of other people, both friends and family, who have struggled with it their entire lives. Luckily, I have gotten away from it -- YES, I am struggling, but in the end, it will be worth it.
So what am I talking about? Addiction? No. I am talking about pressure! For as long as I can remember I was faced with pressure from everyone around me to be a certain way, act a certain way, live a certain way. As a teenager and young(er) adult, I did tend to ignore this pressure and do what I wanted. Which is great!! However, I was missing one big piece of the puzzle, my own plan. Since I was 18 I have basically been living on my own. I worked in dead end jobs and couldn't pay my bills, but somehow, with the help of family, I survived. It was wonderful -- so I thought -- to be "on my own" and living according to my own "plan". That "plan" was to just live day by day doing whatever I needed to in order to barely make it through and spend the rest of my time doing whatever I wanted. At 18, that seemed so glamorous compared to living at home, with rules, curfews and nagging parents.
The biggest problem with the entire scenario, was that I had zero long term plans. I often talked about someday finishing school and getting a degree...talked about becoming a doctor or a nurse. Making myself believe I could actually do these things, when deep down, I knew I couldn't. Months would go by, and I would listen to my parents and friends lecture me about how my life is leading no where and I will be nothing more than what I currently was if I didn't do something. At the time, this went in one ear and out the other. I retained nothing -- why? -- because I didn't want to. To me, they were just preaching like they always had -- that IS what parents do afterall.
Flash forward to age 21. I am living in a basement, one bedroom apartment. It is in a constant state of disgusting. A massive mess at all times. I wasn't working, paying rent from EI, spending my days playing computer games and eating cans of beans because I had nothing else. I'd buy cigarettes before food, and buy game time instead of paying for my cable. My priorities were completely out of whack. Then, one day, something clicked! I have no idea what it was, but myself and Ashley decided we were going to take our GED exam -- without studying -- and hope for the best. We figured that if we at least had our GED, we would be able to make something....anything of ourselves. Thankfully, I passed...barely. I passed by one mark. I decided to ignore the advice of everyone around me and venture out into the world and try to land that "amazing job" I figured I deserved because I had my GED. I don't think I could have been more wrong. Instead, I started a job as a Marketing and Advertising Manager -- which seemed to be way to good to be true -- and I was right. After my first shift, I ended up being molested and it turned into a court case lasting all summer. That was my last straw. I made a conscience decision to not let this situation ruin my life (as it often can). I decided to completely forget the entire incident and move on with my life.
At that point I decided that I needed more education to make it anywhere in life. Also, I had finally decided I wanted to make it in this world, on my own. However, I also thought that if I a little more education, I'd nail the high paying job and live a life of happiness and luxury. Easy right? Not so much. I attended Holland College in order to upgrade some of my credits. As you have likely figured out, I dropped out of high school (3 times) and barely had a grade 9 education. Nevertheless, I took on high school academic credits. I initially had planned to get all of my credits in order to have a complete academic high school diploma. I found out that with a little effort, I was actually good at something -- which I never thought before. I realized that I had a huge passion for writing, and surprisingly, I was good at it. I completed my English, Canadian History, and Advanced Political Studies credits in 7 months. My final grade in all courses was not lower than a 92%.
I was ecstatic. I finally felt like I had accomplished something. I had an amazing support system. My instructor, Leanne, was amazing. She believed in me, and she saw the potential I had and she pushed me to do what she knew I could do. There were times that I felt she hated me and was being strict with me for that reason. After a while I realized that she saw talent in me, and she had to be hard on me so I would produce my best possible work. I have never corrected so many commas in my entire life! Needless to say, I tend to be a stickler for comma use now. After realizing that I wasn't a complete idiot, I decided to apply to the University of Prince Edward Island. I really and truly had no thoughts about actually getting in. Take a moment to consider the facts. I had completed only up to 9th grade, got my GED, and had a total of three grade 12 academic credits. The outlook was not good. However, I waited and waited and finally I got that wonderful letter. I got in! I instantly began to cry and ran upstairs to show my mother (who was waiting for me in the driveway). We both cried. All of this time, I thought those around me, preaching to me that I was smart and just needed to put my mind to it, were wrong. I truly thought I had the right idea of what the perfect life should be.
That simple letter gave me the push I needed. The following September I was ready to go! I moved into residence and started my university classes. I quickly discovered that I had a big love for the field of Psychology. First semester, I did really well. I got all but one credit, and got good marks in the other 4. This shocked me as I had such little education, but with the amazing professors, studying, and my passion allowed me to do well. Then, after 22 years of never consuming any of it, I discovered alcohol. I realized that I loved the party scene and Captain Morgan Rum even more. By the middle of second semester, I had barely attended any classes and was partying a minimum of 2 nights a week. Yet, I was loving it! As you have likely read in previous posts, I never had a lot of friends. I was never social, I had such low self esteem that I would just keep to myself. All of a sudden -- thanks to my brother -- I had friends, a lot of friends. Just like me, these friends enjoyed partying. The rest of the year is sort of a blur. It involved a lot of partying, and doing a whole lot of nothing. I passed one class second semester, by a hair. I moved back home for the summer and got a job which I loved. I had turned into this social butterfly and spent all my free time with friends. I worked my ass off, often 60 hours a week, but I loved my co-workers and the job itself. When I was not working, I was out with my new found best friend Jake in my car that I was so proud of!
It was one of the best summers of my life. Sure, Ashley wasn't there, but we had both been forced to move on friend wise as she was a world away. Nearing the end of the summer, I almost decided not to go back to UPEI. Again, I had found something I enjoyed and figured it would be like that forever if I kept at it. Thankfully, with some encouragement from some friends, I decided to go back. I didn't live in the dorm as I didn't want to be in the party scene any more. Literally, one week before school started, I met someone who completely knocked me off my feet, flat on my ass -- in a good way. I met Ian. From our first date, I knew there was something special about him. Just looking at him made me smile, made me feel safe, and made me feel beautiful. He was so quiet and shy, which I found intriguing, as I was now a very social person. I think he may have said 30 words our entire first date, but that was all it took. We went on a few more dates before making our relationship official.
Needless to say, I wanted to spend every free moment with him. He made me happier than I could ever remember being. We quickly fell completely in love and I put school on the back burner in order to surround myself with him. To some, this may seem like a silly move. At the time, I somewhat felt that way myself. I proceeded to drop out for year (with intentions of returning the following year). I was in this wonderful world of love, lust, and fun. He made me feel like a queen -- and still does. I got a job and we moved into a small motel room together.
This seemed like a quick move to most people. However, we became very close, very quick. We simply loved being around each other all the time. Leaving each other at night hurt so bad. He would leave my place in Summerside to go back to town and I would cry. When I went to his place, I would wait for him to fall asleep before sneaking out to head home, usually at 3am. It was a love like I had never felt before, and never thought I would ever feel.
Again, I had people around me preaching that I need to go back to school and finish my degree. At this point, I agreed and did go back. I went back part time and managed to get another 2 credits. And that was it. I decided that school just wasn't for me at this time because I needed to work in order to help us live. To pay my share of rent and other bills I needed a full time job as student loans just didn't cover it. Many thought this was the wrong choice, and honestly, so did I. After some time I began writing on my own time. I had a password protected "diary" online that I would write in. It was then that I realized that I did love Psychology, but I didn't have the passion for it as I did with writing. So, a year later, I entered Holland College as a Journalism student. I loved it! I was so excited to put my passion to work for me. I did extremely well and my teacher even told me that I had a huge amount of natural journalistic talent and that he was amazed at my writing ability. This made me so happy. It was the first time I felt 100% validated. I now knew that I did have a natural ability and that following my passion was the right choice.
Unfortunately, student loan issues and medical problems forced me to yet again, leave school. However, I can promise the world that I will be back in September. During my short time in Journalism school, I managed to get some very high profile interviews, including Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy. I quickly realized that not only was I a good writer, I had the "balls" (excuse my expression) to do what I needed to do, to get the story I wanted to get.
My future plans is to finish J-School with a diploma from Holland College and a degree from UPEI. However, I am hoping to get into show business. No, not as an actress or a singer. As a reporter or publicist. This dream will become a reality.
As seen in previous posts, I am currently going through some tough stuff. However, Ian is by my side, supporting me and helping me get well and we are making it through. I have been doing a lot better lately and it is all thanks to him (and my shrink hehe). I could write a novel on how much love I have for Ian and how amazing he is, but that is for another day.
This entry may seem all over the place, but the point is this: No matter what you preach to someone, it is not likely to work. Every person needs to figure themselves out...on their own. You can preach until you are blue in the face..."Get an education" "Be a doctor" "Do something with your life." It doesn't matter what way you say it, it is useless. One person may be completely happy working at a corner store, making $10 an hour, while others will not be happy until they have a million in the bank. The point is, happiness is what matters. If you are barely making it by, but you are genuinely happy in your situation, then keep on keepin on! If you aren't happy...do something about it. Stop moping, feeling bad for yourself. If I can do it, you can do it. I had a grade 9 education and now I am half way to being a university graduate. Nothing is impossible. Never do what you friends, parents, or spouse tells you should do. Do what YOU want to do. However, in saying that, you also need to ensure that you and your family are properly taken care of.
That is my story. I sincerely hope that it helps even one person to make a life choice that is right for them. As always, thank you for reading! <3
-Drea
Monday, February 13, 2012
It still amazes me.
Last night was the first time that I can say there was a "shit show" on my Facebook wall. During the Grammy's I made -- what I thought was an innocent -- status update. Upon review, I feel as though I should have used different words, either way, it was definitely not taken well among my Facebook "friends." I stated that I did not understand why Adele was such a big deal. I made it clear that she was a beautiful singer, and had an amazing strong voice. But, I also made it clear that I did not feel she was any better than any other singer. Now, one thing -- a mistake on my part -- that I failed to mention from the get-go was that there was a specific event that triggered this rage filled status update. Jennifer Hudson (another beautiful singer) did a very heartfelt performance as a tribute to the late Whitney Houston. It was beautiful, and brought a tear to my eye. What made me angry was that Adele received a bigger ovation, and more appreciation for her performance. The people in the crowd -- celebrities and otherwise -- clapped and whistled for much longer after Adele's performance. Which shocked me as Adele sang the same song that we've been hearing 5 times a day on our radios. It was nothing special. Was it good? Yes. Was it better than any other performance? No. Did it deserve a better response than the Whitney Houston tribute? Hell no.
As per the title of this post, it still amazes me just how many people have their heads so far up their asses that they can no longer process the smallest pieces of information. My status update started flooding with comments of people in complete shock that I felt that way. 127 comments later and almost every person who chose to comment, chose to put words in my mouth and give their own meanings to my words. There were but a handful of people who actually used their brains and took my words for what they were. I was not bashing Adele's talent. There is no question in my mind that she has a disgusting amount of talent. I just feel that she is overrated -- which is my opinion, which I am completely entitled to. In fact, I find it to be hilarious (and pathetic) that people who are over 21 years of age, can still act like they are in high school. The moment their beliefs are questioned, they become a 15 year old and make the entire thing into a joke. Purposely making fun of someone because of their opinion, is the most immature thing I have ever witnessed. Every person has their own opinion. In this case, I chose to voice my opinion on Facebook -- where apparently, opinions have no place to be -- however, my opinion did not please the general public and therefore I got a lot of slack for it. For the most part, it was a friendly debate, no harm done. However, there are always certain people who are completely unable to be mature in most situations. It isn't easy putting myself out there each and every day, for the world to see. But it is something I want to to, and I truly feel that I should get some form of respect. If you dislike it, don't read it. But you could at least have the decency to keep it to yourself rather than discussing with your friends how "hilarious" it is. This goes for blogs, Facebook, Twitter...everything. (Those I am referring to, will know who they are)
I am beyond tired of the prejudice you see around music. Most of these "friends" claimed that I was "purposely going against the crowd" claiming that I "felt the need to always go against the majority." Are you kidding me? If anything, everyone needs to look at themselves and realize that they need too start not going with the majority. Yes, I tend to be a controversial person, but the only reason my words are looked at as being controversial is because it completely shocks everyone's system. I do not purposely go against the majority, there are often times that I am sitting there with the rest of the world in adoration of an artist. The difference is, I do the research required to use my own brain to choose who to praise. For example, Justin Bieber was highly praised, and is still famous on a massive scale. However, he also got a lot of hate, people claiming that he was "talent-less" and was "made" to be what he is. Now, it was the "cool" thing to do to hate on Bieber, even I fell into the "hate Bieber" hype for a period of time. Then, I remembered watching the kidrauhl videos on You Tube, long before he was all over our TV's, iPod's and Radio's. And I realized that Justin Bieber has an extraordinary amount of talent. Yes he was most definitely molded to look a certain way, which is something I don't agree with, however, there is no denying his talent. Therefore, all of the claims that he has no talent, are completely fabricated and utterly invalid.
Another worthy example -- which I've chosen for a reason I will explain later -- is Lil Wayne. Many feel as though I praise Lil Wayne simply because I am a huge fan. How big of a fan? I have his name tattooed on my arm, so yeah, I'd say I am a pretty hardcore fan. However, I did not become such a huge fan until after I listened to some of his other music. The music industry hot shots decide what will sell, and sell big. They determine what songs will be released. These decisions typically only show one side of an artist. In the example of Lil Wayne, most judge him only on his songs such as "Lollipop." Auto-tuned and has zero meaning in the lyrics. I can understand why people would determine he is talent-less after hearing this song, or many others like it. However, these people pass judgement far too quickly. If one were to take the time to listen to his other music, you would find that he has an entire album that he plays the guitar instruments himself, he is not auto tuned, and he actually sings. Not to mention, a lot of the songs have a lot of deep meaning and good messages. Believe it or not, but the song Paradice and Runnin actually got me through a lot of hard times. It takes a lot for a song to have so much meaning and such a good message that it can get me through tough patches of my life.
The problem is simple. The majority of people refuse to take a chance that they might like something, that isn't "cool" to like. I urge you all to 1. Keep in mind that I in no way said that everyone was like this, I simply said the majority. 2. If you feel you aren't in that majority, prove it, because chances are high, that you are.
Now, back to Adele. Adele can sing, she has soul and a beautiful, strong voice. However, I still truly feel that it was sickening to see her get a larger, better, response than Jennifer Hudson's Whitney Houston tribute. Adele is a good singer, she isn't the best thing to happen to music. Simple as that. End of story.
-Drea
As per the title of this post, it still amazes me just how many people have their heads so far up their asses that they can no longer process the smallest pieces of information. My status update started flooding with comments of people in complete shock that I felt that way. 127 comments later and almost every person who chose to comment, chose to put words in my mouth and give their own meanings to my words. There were but a handful of people who actually used their brains and took my words for what they were. I was not bashing Adele's talent. There is no question in my mind that she has a disgusting amount of talent. I just feel that she is overrated -- which is my opinion, which I am completely entitled to. In fact, I find it to be hilarious (and pathetic) that people who are over 21 years of age, can still act like they are in high school. The moment their beliefs are questioned, they become a 15 year old and make the entire thing into a joke. Purposely making fun of someone because of their opinion, is the most immature thing I have ever witnessed. Every person has their own opinion. In this case, I chose to voice my opinion on Facebook -- where apparently, opinions have no place to be -- however, my opinion did not please the general public and therefore I got a lot of slack for it. For the most part, it was a friendly debate, no harm done. However, there are always certain people who are completely unable to be mature in most situations. It isn't easy putting myself out there each and every day, for the world to see. But it is something I want to to, and I truly feel that I should get some form of respect. If you dislike it, don't read it. But you could at least have the decency to keep it to yourself rather than discussing with your friends how "hilarious" it is. This goes for blogs, Facebook, Twitter...everything. (Those I am referring to, will know who they are)
I am beyond tired of the prejudice you see around music. Most of these "friends" claimed that I was "purposely going against the crowd" claiming that I "felt the need to always go against the majority." Are you kidding me? If anything, everyone needs to look at themselves and realize that they need too start not going with the majority. Yes, I tend to be a controversial person, but the only reason my words are looked at as being controversial is because it completely shocks everyone's system. I do not purposely go against the majority, there are often times that I am sitting there with the rest of the world in adoration of an artist. The difference is, I do the research required to use my own brain to choose who to praise. For example, Justin Bieber was highly praised, and is still famous on a massive scale. However, he also got a lot of hate, people claiming that he was "talent-less" and was "made" to be what he is. Now, it was the "cool" thing to do to hate on Bieber, even I fell into the "hate Bieber" hype for a period of time. Then, I remembered watching the kidrauhl videos on You Tube, long before he was all over our TV's, iPod's and Radio's. And I realized that Justin Bieber has an extraordinary amount of talent. Yes he was most definitely molded to look a certain way, which is something I don't agree with, however, there is no denying his talent. Therefore, all of the claims that he has no talent, are completely fabricated and utterly invalid.
Another worthy example -- which I've chosen for a reason I will explain later -- is Lil Wayne. Many feel as though I praise Lil Wayne simply because I am a huge fan. How big of a fan? I have his name tattooed on my arm, so yeah, I'd say I am a pretty hardcore fan. However, I did not become such a huge fan until after I listened to some of his other music. The music industry hot shots decide what will sell, and sell big. They determine what songs will be released. These decisions typically only show one side of an artist. In the example of Lil Wayne, most judge him only on his songs such as "Lollipop." Auto-tuned and has zero meaning in the lyrics. I can understand why people would determine he is talent-less after hearing this song, or many others like it. However, these people pass judgement far too quickly. If one were to take the time to listen to his other music, you would find that he has an entire album that he plays the guitar instruments himself, he is not auto tuned, and he actually sings. Not to mention, a lot of the songs have a lot of deep meaning and good messages. Believe it or not, but the song Paradice and Runnin actually got me through a lot of hard times. It takes a lot for a song to have so much meaning and such a good message that it can get me through tough patches of my life.
The problem is simple. The majority of people refuse to take a chance that they might like something, that isn't "cool" to like. I urge you all to 1. Keep in mind that I in no way said that everyone was like this, I simply said the majority. 2. If you feel you aren't in that majority, prove it, because chances are high, that you are.
Now, back to Adele. Adele can sing, she has soul and a beautiful, strong voice. However, I still truly feel that it was sickening to see her get a larger, better, response than Jennifer Hudson's Whitney Houston tribute. Adele is a good singer, she isn't the best thing to happen to music. Simple as that. End of story.
-Drea
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