I have had my fair share of obstacles in my life, but I have gotten through each and every one. Each obstacle makes me a little stronger in the end. Yes, it sucks at the time, but there is always a way to make it through. I want to use this entry to make it clear how much I recognize and appreciate certain people in my life for helping me through all of these things.
My parents. Just like most parents, they do not receive the recognition that they deserve, and more often than not, even I fail at treating them the way deserve. My parents have always been there for me, they help me whenever they can. I can clearly remember how disrespectful toward them in my younger years, sometimes I feel physically ill when I think back to some of things I've said and done. I used to bitch about my "lame ass mother making me be home at 10pm" or "god my mother sucks, she won't let me use the car today." Now, at 24 years old, I realize that those things were for my benefit. I remember being so jealous that a lot of people I knew didn't have a curfew and were allowed to do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. I hated that I had a curfew and because of that, I often disobeyed it. I would come home past curfew and have a screaming match with my mother, totally feeling justified in being mad at her. I cannot believe that is how my mind worked at the time. When I look back I realize how messed up all those curfewless people were. Dabbling in drugs, drinking, and other dangerous activities. I realize now that the reason I had a curfew was because my mother cared about me. When I see teenagers out at 2am around town, drunk or high, the first thing I think of is "Where are their parents, they must not give a shit about their kids." Any parent who loves their children and wants the best for them, will enforce a curfew. Any parent who allows their kids to be out until all hours of the night, obviously don't give much of a crap.
There is one moment during those years that still sticks out in my mind. I, once again, failed to meet curfew. The night before, Brian (my step-dad) warned me that if I disobeyed my mother again that he would be changing the locks on the door and I could find a new place to live. Keep in mind that I was 16 at the time, this may seem like a harsh punishment but I was a high school drop-out that was making nothing of myself. Anyway, I believe my curfew was 10:00pm and I showed up between 10:30 and 11:00. When I pulled into the drive-way, there was Brian, literally changing the locks. I freaked out. I got out of the car and begged him to let me in. After some time he finally agreed to let me in. After that moment, I was never late for curfew again. If I wanted an extension I called at least 2 hours before curfew to ask permission. To my surprise, by showing that kind of respect more often than not, Mom allowed me to have an extension. At the time, I never would have thought that giving respect would earn me more privileges.
I can clearly remember getting into full out screaming matches with Brian. He would not allow me to talk poorly to my mother and if I did, it turned into a screaming match. Again, at the time, I "hated" him for disciplining me. However, now, I thank god that he did. God only knows where I would have ended up if it weren't for him. My mother did not have the ability to discipline me because she had given up on me. Which is completely understandable because I did in fact treat her poorly. So, Brian stepped up and whipped me into shape. Sure, I still wasn't perfect, but I improved greatly.
I feel so sick and sad when I think back to some of the things I have said and done to my mother. I never thought she was justified in her feelings when really she was completely justified. I think I might have told my mom the truth only a handful of times as a teenager, which is unfortunate because trust is something that takes a long time to earn back, and to this day, I don't think she fully trusts me. We still fight now, but what mother-daughter combo doesn't? However, I think that I treat her far better than I did as a teenager. I really hope that she knows how much of an awesome mother she is.
She would play hallway hockey with my brother for hours on end, build us a rink in the back yard every winter, she always made sure we had what we needed and always did everything in her power for us to have what we wanted. I used to think I had it bad, but really, I had it pretty damn good. I almost always got what was in style, in failed attempts to make me popular. She worked her ass off to ensure that we were satisfied and had what we wanted, even though, really, she couldn't afford it. And for all of those things, I appreciate her. There are tons more things she did for myself and my brother, but if I were to name them all, this entry would never end. I just really hope she understands just how grateful I am for having her as my mother.
Now, my father. Me and Dad never had much of a relationship, for some reason we just never saw eye-to-eye. My parents got divorced when I was 14 I believe and I lived with Mom. Despite that, I still do have fond memories of my father. Yeah, there are some bad memories, but I have gotten over that. I remember Dad sitting in a steam filled bathroom with me or getting me dressed in my winter clothes and walking me up and down the street in the middle of the night, all in attempts to stop my asthma attacks. I can remember the four of us riding our bikes on the trails, ALL the way up west and Nyall's little legs peddling so fast. The poor thing was too big for his little bike, so when we got up west, Mom and Dad bought him a new bike to ride home.
If it wasn't for Dad I wouldn't have ever gotten my license. Neither of my parents could afford the $700 for drivers ed. But, being a pig headed teenager, I attended the drivers ed class without even telling them. Them I showed up at home and informed them that I needed that money right away and couldn't understand why they couldn't just hand it over. So, my father did some musical work for my instructor in exchange for my drivers ed fees. If it weren't for that, I never could have taken it.
There was one night that Ashley and I were driving (in the middle of a blizzard) and we saw this cat run across the road. We stopped the car and called it over. We felt bad because this cute little thing was stuck outside during a horrible blizzard. The cat answered our calls and proceeded to hide underneath my car, right by the tire. Ashley then got on her belly and tried to get the cat out, all the while, there is a massive snow plow headed straight for us, and it is likely that the driver can't even see us due to the blowing snow. Finally we got the cat and drove off. We named him Beau. He was adorable. Ashley couldn't keep him because her parents wouldn't allow her to have another cat, and I couldn't keep him because my cat Quincy hated other cats. So, after some convincing, my Dad took Beau. He couldn't afford it, but he did it anyway because he knew I couldn't handle giving him away, especially to the SPCA.
I realize that the part about my Dad is a decent amount shorter than that about my Mom. The reason for that is because I didn't live with him for most of my teenage years so I had less one on one time with him. Which, was probably a good thing, considering the type of teenager I was. However, I am still really grateful that I have him as my father. We still don't always get along, but I think we've both accepted that that will never change. But, whenever I need help financially or otherwise, he always helps me if he has the means to do so. I know he is always there for me when I need him and that is a good feeling.
So, there you have it. My parents. I am lucky to have 4 amazing parents. The reason I failed the mention my step-mother is simply because I honestly hardly know her. I would like to know her better, hopefully I can someday,
-Drea
